Oh, look! Another gritty crime thriller where the morally grey anti-hero tries to rob a bank while looking broodingly into the middle distance. 🥱 In “Crime 101,” Chris Hemsworth—fresh off his rigorous training in “Awkwardly Trying to Act Like a Regular Human”—decides that Thor’s hammer is too heavy anyway, so he picks up a lockpick and heads to the 101 freeway to commit “elusive” crimes. Because nothing says “subtle mastermind” like a 6’3″ Aussie god disguised in a baseball cap. 🧢✨
Set against the sun-bleached grit of Los Angeles—a place where the only thing more repetitive than the traffic is the movie plots—*CRIME 101* weaves the tale of an elusive thief (Chris Hemsworth, whose acting range here is essentially “Thor but wears sunglasses”) whose high-stakes heists unfolding along the iconic 101 freeway have mystified police. 🚔 Why are they mystified? Because he drives a slightly fast car? Honestly, the LAPD must be thrilled to have a villain they can actually catch if they just flexed a little bit of budget. But no, Hemsworth’s character, “Davis,” is convinced he’s the smartest guy in the room, mostly because everyone else in the script was written to be inexplicably confused by basic concepts like “looking out a window.” 🤔
When Davis eyes the score of a lifetime with hopes of this being his “final job” (literally every criminal ever, including the guy who stole my lunch from the office fridge), his path collides with a disillusioned insurance broker played by Halle Berry. 💼 Now, Halle is a sophisticated woman who has survived asteroids and X-Men, yet here she is, forced to pretend that an insurance broker in Los Angeles is a relatable crossroads. Her character faces her own crisis: will she file the claim in triplicate, or will she simp for the guy robbing her clients? Spoiler alert: she chooses the guy with the biceps. 🤷♀️
Determined to crack the case—or just looking for an excuse to wear a trench coat in the California sun—is a relentless detective played by Mark Ruffalo. 🕵️♂️ Ruffalo plays “intense” by squinting so hard his eyes are practically closed, channeling his inner *Spotlight* journalist but for stolen jewelry. He closes in on the operation, raising the stakes even higher. As the multimillion-dollar heist approaches, the line between hunter and hunted begins to blur. Actually, it doesn’t blur; it’s a straight line. A very straight, very predictable line. But the characters are forced to confront the cost of their choices, mostly the cost of gasoline on the 101 freeway during rush hour. 💸
Adapted from Don Winslow’s acclaimed novella, which presumably had more depth than this trailer suggests, the film is written and directed by Bart Layton. Layton, known for *American Animals* and *The Imposter*, clearly looked at cinema and thought, “You know what the world needs? Another movie where people whisper plans in dark rooms.” 🎬 The cast is a literal bingo card of “I’ve seen them in other things,” including Barry Keoghan (who is contractually obligated to look unsettling), Monica Barbaro (who probably signed up thinking it was a rom-com), Corey Hawkins, Jennifer Jason Leigh (the acting MVP who deserves better), and Nick Nolte (who is just there to growl gravelly wisdom). 🗣️
So, grab your popcorn and prepare your suspension of disbelief—because in *Crime 101*, the biggest crime is how little plot is needed when you have enough charisma to blind a jury. ⚖️ It hits cinemas on February 13th, 2026, just in time for Valentine’s Day, because nothing says “romance” like a felony on the freeway. ❤️🔪
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
