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Tag: CBS

CBS News fires 6% of staff, Bari Weiss takes over to fix everything with her legendary wisdom and charm
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CBS News fires 6% of staff, Bari Weiss takes over to fix everything with her legendary wisdom and charm

Big ElephantMarch 20, 2026March 20, 2026

Breaking: CBS News Ditches ‘Woke’ Agenda, Trump Fans Celebrate! In a stunning turn of events that’s rocking the liberal media…

US Stocks Just Won’t Get the Memo About Panic Mode
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US Stocks Just Won’t Get the Memo About Panic Mode

Big ElephantMarch 9, 2026March 9, 2026

World’s Oil Markets Hold Their Breath as Strait of Hormuz Remains Shut Well folks, grab your gas masks and strap…

Paramount Prepares to Swallow Warner Bros. Discovery Whole, Because Why Not?
Hold Onto Your Popcorn, Folks — Netflix Just Flinched!
Breaking, Movie News

Paramount Prepares to Swallow Warner Bros. Discovery Whole, Because Why Not?

FinnFebruary 27, 2026February 27, 2026

Well, well, well, look who decided to peace out of the biggest corporate drama since Disney tried to buy Spider-Man.…

Peter Attia bolts from CBS News after getting Epstein-ed by the internet
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Peter Attia bolts from CBS News after getting Epstein-ed by the internet

Big ElephantFebruary 23, 2026February 23, 2026

Liberal Elite’s Favorite Health Guru Caught in Epstein Scandal – CBS Quickly Dumps Him In yet another stunning example of…

FCC’s ‘Equal Time’ Letter to ABC: The Secret Weapon That Made CBS Cry Uncle Over Colbert’s Jokes
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

FCC’s ‘Equal Time’ Letter to ABC: The Secret Weapon That Made CBS Cry Uncle Over Colbert’s Jokes

Big ElephantFebruary 18, 2026February 18, 2026

Liberal Media Meltdown: FCC’s Equal Time Rules Spark Censorship Hysteria In a shocking display of cowardice, CBS lawyers apparently soiled…

El Niño, Death Traps, and Dr. AI: The Wild Ride of Today’s News You Can’t Unsee
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

El Niño, Death Traps, and Dr. AI: The Wild Ride of Today’s News You Can’t Unsee

Big ElephantFebruary 17, 2026February 17, 2026

Welcome to 5 Things PM! Here’s your nightly dose of real news, served with a side of conservative truth and…

Gallup Throws in the Towel on Presidential Tracking Poll, Proving Even Polls Are Over This Election Cycle
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Gallup Throws in the Towel on Presidential Tracking Poll, Proving Even Polls Are Over This Election Cycle

Big ElephantFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

Look Who’s Giving Up! Gallup Finally Throws in the Towel on Trump Approval Polls! Oh, the irony! Gallup, that once…

POST MALONE, SLASH, DUFF MCKAGAN And CHAD SMITH Unite To Do A Half-Decent Impression Of OZZY OSBOURNE At The 2026 GRAMMYs
Breaking, Music News

POST MALONE, SLASH, DUFF MCKAGAN And CHAD SMITH Unite To Do A Half-Decent Impression Of OZZY OSBOURNE At The 2026 GRAMMYs

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 28, 2026January 28, 2026

Oh great, another Grammy tribute, because what the world really needs is more middle-aged men in leather jackets pretending they…

2026 Golden Globes: The Winners (Because Apparently Someone Still Cares)
Breaking, Movie News

2026 Golden Globes: The Winners (Because Apparently Someone Still Cares)

FinnJanuary 11, 2026January 11, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Hollywood’s Most Prestigious Night of Questionable Decisions Approaches 🚨 😱🎬 Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone who just wants to…

Trump crashes Warner Bros. drama, demands CNN be auctioned off like last season’s leftovers
Trump Finally Tells the Truth About CNN: It’s a Disgrace That Must Be Sold!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump crashes Warner Bros. drama, demands CNN be auctioned off like last season’s leftovers

Big ElephantDecember 10, 2025December 10, 2025

In a stunning and totally unexpected move, President Donald J. Trump, the greatest president in history and possibly all of…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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