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Tag: celebrities

LAMB OF GOD Drops New Single ‘Parasocial Christ’ – Prepare to Worship Your Screen
Breaking, Music News

LAMB OF GOD Drops New Single ‘Parasocial Christ’ – Prepare to Worship Your Screen

Chord F. DiscordNovember 21, 2025November 21, 2025

LAMB OF GOD, those elder statesmen of metalcore dad-rock, have graced us with “Parasocial Christ,” a three-minute sonic tantrum designed…

Wake Up, Buttercup: Another Knives Out Trailer to Judge Harshly
Benoit Blanc returns, probably to solve another murder because that's literally all he does. 😴
Breaking, Movie News

Wake Up, Buttercup: Another Knives Out Trailer to Judge Harshly

FinnNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Daniel Craig is BACK (again) as Benoit Blanc in Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery, because apparently, Rian…

Toronto Game Expo 2025: Prepare for Disappointment, Local Gamers/Cosplayers
Games News, Live

Toronto Game Expo 2025: Prepare for Disappointment, Local Gamers/Cosplayers

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 16, 2025November 16, 2025

Oh, honey, the Toronto Game Expo 2025 is back for its fall edition, and guess what? They couldn’t even keep…

Ice Nine Kills Drools Over ’89 Batman, Churns Out Another Generic Track for Clueless Fanboys
Breaking, Music News

Ice Nine Kills Drools Over ’89 Batman, Churns Out Another Generic Track for Clueless Fanboys

Chord F. DiscordOctober 9, 2025October 9, 2025

ICE NINE KILLS, those maestros of musical mayhem, 🤡 invite you to “dance with the devil in the pale moonlight”…

Jimmy Kimmel’s Back: Did You Miss Him? (We Didn’t)
Breaking

Jimmy Kimmel’s Back: Did You Miss Him? (We Didn’t)

FinnSeptember 22, 2025September 22, 2025

OMG! 😱 Disney, those woke snowflakes ❄️, and ABC (Always Broadcasting Crap) have officially announced that Jimmy Kimmel Live! 🤮…

Robert Redford, Aging Heartthrob and Overrated Director, Finally Bites the Dust at Ancient Age of 89
Breaking, Movie News

Robert Redford, Aging Heartthrob and Overrated Director, Finally Bites the Dust at Ancient Age of 89

FinnSeptember 16, 2025September 16, 2025

Oh no! 😱 Not another Hollywood legend biting the dust! 🪦 Apparently, Robert Redford, the epitome of blonde-haired, blue-eyed charisma,…

Soho House flees the public market, Ashton Kutcher to pretend he knows what he’s doing
Elephant Reads CNN

Soho House flees the public market, Ashton Kutcher to pretend he knows what he’s doing

Big ElephantAugust 18, 2025August 18, 2025

Another bastion of liberal elites crumbles! Soho House, that playground for champagne socialists and virtue signaling celebrities, is going private…

Gavin Newsom, Benevolent Overlord, Graces You With Redistricting Wisdom
Elephant Reads CNN

Gavin Newsom, Benevolent Overlord, Graces You With Redistricting Wisdom

Big ElephantAugust 17, 2025August 17, 2025

Ah, Gavin Newsom, the golden-haired boy of the loony left, is at it again! Trying to gerrymander his way to…

Billboard Boss Cries Over Taylor Swift’s Surprise Album, World Ends
Elephant Reads CNN

Billboard Boss Cries Over Taylor Swift’s Surprise Album, World Ends

Big ElephantAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

Oh, great, another update on Taylor Swift and her leftist propaganda tour! Now she’s spreading her woke nonsense on some…

TIFF 2025: Prepare Your Wallets, Film Snobs, The Criterion Collection’s Garage Sale Hits Canada
Breaking, Movie News

TIFF 2025: Prepare Your Wallets, Film Snobs, The Criterion Collection’s Garage Sale Hits Canada

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

Prepare yourselves, peasants! The illustrious Criterion Mobile Closet, a beacon of cinematic snobbery, is gracing the plebeian lands of TIFF…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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