Epstein Probed For Doing What He Already Seemed To Be Doing Anyway
Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Democratic Rep. Jamie Raskin launching an investigation into whether Jeffrey Epstein acted…
Tag: CNN
Arizona’s MAGA Streak of Losing Continues Unbroken So Far
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading about Rep. Andy Biggs, the leading Republican candidate for Arizona governor, and his…
Lettuce Ruin Taco Bell’s Day With Parasite Outbreak
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like the great lettuce outbreak of 2026 is causing…
US Military Keeps War Injuries Under Wraps For Your Safety Apparently
Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest on the Iran conflict, and I have to say, it’s…
Green Cards Now Require Secret Talent for Starving Successfully
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Trump administration is at it again, trying to make it…
Lindsey Graham’s Seat Now Occupied By Person With Similar Name
Folks, I’m sitting here with my coffee, reading about Sen. Darline Graham announcing her run for her late brother’s seat…
Merger on Hold Because Lawyers Got Paid
I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama in the entertainment industry, folks. A federal judge has granted…
Federal Building Gets Free Fireworks Courtesy of Angry Protester
Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a guy who allegedly threw an incendiary device at New York City’s…
Trump’s Iran Plan Apparently Involves Making Things Worse Quickly
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like the situation with Iran is getting more complicated…
Butterfat Prices Plummet Mercifully
I’m sipping my coffee and reading about ice cream prices, because, priorities. Apparently, ice cream prices are cooling off ahead…