Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: DC

Oops! National Guard Gets Trigger-Happy Thanks to Super-Vetted Afghan Dude, or So They Say
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! National Guard Gets Trigger-Happy Thanks to Super-Vetted Afghan Dude, or So They Say

Big ElephantNovember 29, 2025November 29, 2025

Here we go again! Crooked Joe Biden’s disastrous policies are STILL endangering America. Now, two National Guard members are shot…

BREAKING: DC goes full Wild West, National Guard joins the shootout – who needs Tombstone
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

BREAKING: DC goes full Wild West, National Guard joins the shootout – who needs Tombstone

Big ElephantNovember 26, 2025November 26, 2025

Another day, another Democrat-inspired crime! Two brave National Guardsmen, sent to D.C. to clean up the leftist mess, were shot.…

Guns N’ Roses Use 500 Drones to Announce They’re Still Alive and Touring in 2026
Breaking, Music News

Guns N’ Roses Use 500 Drones to Announce They’re Still Alive and Touring in 2026

Chord F. DiscordNovember 26, 2025November 26, 2025

LOL! GUNS N’ ROSES, those geriatric rockers, apparently think we care enough to watch 500 drones buzz around like confused…

DC Mayor Bowser, who tap-danced with Trump (bless her heart), bails on reelection, probably to pursue a career in interpretive dance
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

DC Mayor Bowser, who tap-danced with Trump (bless her heart), bails on reelection, probably to pursue a career in interpretive dance

Big ElephantNovember 26, 2025November 26, 2025

Another one bites the dust! DC Mayor Muriel Bowser, bless her heart, is throwing in the towel after a decade…

AIRBOURNE’s New Single ‘Christmas Bonus’ & European Tour: Get Ready to Rock Your Socks Off (and Maybe Get Some Coal)
Breaking, Music News

AIRBOURNE’s New Single ‘Christmas Bonus’ & European Tour: Get Ready to Rock Your Socks Off (and Maybe Get Some Coal)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 24, 2025November 24, 2025

Australian geriatric rockers AIRBOURNE, allegedly still kicking (barely), have bestowed upon their dwindling fanbase – the naughty, the nice, and…

Trump throws toys out of pram, judge tells him to pick them up
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump throws toys out of pram, judge tells him to pick them up

Big ElephantNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

Another day, another Deep State operative trying to undermine our glorious President Trump! This time, a DC judge (probably a…

Redcoat: From Page to Screen—Because the Book Wasn’t Boring Enough
Breaking, Movie News

Redcoat: From Page to Screen—Because the Book Wasn’t Boring Enough

FinnNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Oh, for the love of all that is holy, Atlas Entertainment and Ghost Machine 👻 are turning *Redcoat* into a…

UNPROCESSED Announces Spring 2026 North American Tour (Get Your Tickets Now Before They Sell Out… Never), BLABBERMOUTH.NET Presale (Because You Have No Friends to Get You a Code)
Live, Music News

UNPROCESSED Announces Spring 2026 North American Tour (Get Your Tickets Now Before They Sell Out… Never), BLABBERMOUTH.NET Presale (Because You Have No Friends to Get You a Code)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 13, 2025November 13, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Those guys from UNPROCESSED – yes, the band you’ve never heard of – are gracing North America with…

Power Trip 2.0: Now With Extra Cheeeeeese
Breaking, Music News

Power Trip 2.0: Now With Extra Cheeeeeese

Chord F. DiscordNovember 11, 2025November 11, 2025

Oh, sweet baby Jeebus, they’re back! POWER TRIP, the Texan thrashers who were last seen… well, you know 💀. Guitarist…

Judge Doodles Over Hilarious Attempt to Stop West Virginia National Guard from Visiting DC’s Exciting Tourist Traps
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Judge Doodles Over Hilarious Attempt to Stop West Virginia National Guard from Visiting DC’s Exciting Tourist Traps

Big ElephantNovember 10, 2025November 10, 2025

Another day, another frivolous lawsuit from the radical Left! West Virginia’s National Guard is bravely assisting President Trump in securing…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 18 19 20 … 30 Next

Latest posts

  • Tennessee Prison Chief Nails Job With Execution Errors
  • China’s Secret Agent Apparently Didn’t Get The Memo
  • Southern Georgia Block Party Apparently Not That Fun This Year
  • Spin of the Day: The puzzle features nine pears for players to solve. — 86% Journalism Not Found
  • Bombers Leave UK Base Suddenly Remembering They Have Homes

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.