Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Doom

Google AI Essentials: Three Weeks of “Learning” While Your Job Gets Replaced
Events

Google AI Essentials: Three Weeks of “Learning” While Your Job Gets Replaced

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 14, 2025

AI for Humans Who Still Use Google Maps to Find the Fridge 🤖🧭 Toronto Public Library’s digital bootcamp promises Google…

Exclusive: Trump’s FEMA Council to Suggest Agency Slashes – Turns Out They’re Just Cutting Red Tape (And Maybe a Few Redundant Paper Clips)
Trump to Save Taxpayers from FEMA's Leftist Disaster: Agency to Be Slashed in Half and Rebranded as "FEMA 2.0"
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Exclusive: Trump’s FEMA Council to Suggest Agency Slashes – Turns Out They’re Just Cutting Red Tape (And Maybe a Few Redundant Paper Clips)

Big ElephantDecember 10, 2025December 10, 2025

In a bold move to rescue America from the bureaucratic nightmare of the Federal Emergency Management Agency, the Trump administration…

All the ‘Avengers: Doomsday’ Clues in ‘Endgame’ (We’re All Doomed)
Breaking, Movie News

All the ‘Avengers: Doomsday’ Clues in ‘Endgame’ (We’re All Doomed)

FinnDecember 10, 2025December 10, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Avengers: Doomsday is literally just Endgame: The Sequel – Because Apparently, We All Have Amnesia 🚨 😂 So,…

Events

“2024 Survival Starter Pack: Stock Up on Grab Bags Before the Next Alien Invasion or Zombie Apocalypse (or Whatever Latest Doomsday Hoax)”

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 9, 2025

🚨BREAKING: Professors of Doom Lucy Easthope & Amanda Coleman host “How to Make Disasters Trendy” webinar 🚨 😂 On [insert…

Avantasia’s Tobias Sammet Cries Like A Baby Over The Impending Doom Of Ozzy And Ace (They’re Not Even Dead Yet, What A Drama Queen)
Breaking, Music News

Avantasia’s Tobias Sammet Cries Like A Baby Over The Impending Doom Of Ozzy And Ace (They’re Not Even Dead Yet, What A Drama Queen)

Chord F. DiscordDecember 7, 2025December 7, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with Chile’s prestigious SonarFM (a.k.a. the only radio station willing to talk to him), AVANTASIA overlord…

Avengers: Endgame Returns to Theaters to Distract You From Impending Doom
Breaking, Movie News

Avengers: Endgame Returns to Theaters to Distract You From Impending Doom

FinnDecember 5, 2025December 5, 2025

OMG! 😱 Did you hear the earth-shattering news? Avengers: Endgame, the movie that made you cry harder than when your…

Swallow the Sun Bio: Now in English (ish) – Preorder Before We Change Our Minds
Breaking, Music News

Swallow the Sun Bio: Now in English (ish) – Preorder Before We Change Our Minds

Chord F. DiscordDecember 4, 2025December 4, 2025

OMG! 😱 Prepare yourselves, metalheads, for the most groundbreaking, earth-shattering news of the century! Century Media Records is proud to…

‘Spider-Man: Brand New Day’s Secret Villain Finally REVEALED (You Won’t BELIEVE Who It Is)
Breaking, Movie News

‘Spider-Man: Brand New Day’s Secret Villain Finally REVEALED (You Won’t BELIEVE Who It Is)

FinnNovember 24, 2025November 24, 2025

Alright, listen up, true believers! 🤡 We all KNOW Spider-Man: Brand New Day is, like, TOTALLY set in the gritty,…

World’s Biggest Company Says “Relax, Bro” – As If We Didn’t Have Enough Problems
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

World’s Biggest Company Says “Relax, Bro” – As If We Didn’t Have Enough Problems

Big ElephantNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Here we go again, folks. CNN is hyperventilating about an “AI bubble” while our GREAT President Trump is leading America…

Oops, America’s Flights Go Bye-Bye, Prepare for Wallet-Shredding Ticket Prices and Passenger Pandemonium
Elephant Reads CNN

Oops, America’s Flights Go Bye-Bye, Prepare for Wallet-Shredding Ticket Prices and Passenger Pandemonium

Big ElephantNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Another government shutdown? You can bet your bottom dollar this is the Democrats’ fault, and those Deep State saboteurs are…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 10 11 12 … 26 Next

Latest posts

  • ARCHITECTS Singer SAM CARTER Reveals The Most Metal Thing That’s Ever Happened To Him: METALLICA’s JAMES HETFIELD Brought Them A Cake And Didn’t Even Smash It
  • SBC Approves Use Of Tasers On Any Visitor Who Tries To Slip Past Greeters
  • When your parents ask what kind of music you listen to
  • Enhanced Games Allows Competing Athletes To Use Steroids
  • Woman Worried She In Codependent Relationship With Rest Of Humanity 

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
May 2026
S M T W T F S
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31  
« Apr    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}