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Tag: Doom

CNN’s “Analysis”: Orange Man Good, But Maybe Bad? A Rollercoaster of Confusion!
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s “Analysis”: Orange Man Good, But Maybe Bad? A Rollercoaster of Confusion!

Big ElephantAugust 11, 2025August 11, 2025

You wouldn’t BELIEVE what the liberal fake news is trying to peddle now! Apparently, President Trump’s “unchallenged personal power plays”…

James Marsden Says ‘Avengers: Doomsday’ Is Basically Just a Cozy Slipper Now
Breaking, Movie News

James Marsden Says ‘Avengers: Doomsday’ Is Basically Just a Cozy Slipper Now

FinnAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

Oh, James Marsden is BACK as Cyclops, you guys! 🙄 Because apparently, we haven’t had enough of him squinting through…

Ozzy’s Dead, LOL: Fans Get Last Selfies with Corpse-Mobile
Breaking, Music News

Ozzy’s Dead, LOL: Fans Get Last Selfies with Corpse-Mobile

Chord F. DiscordJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

Breaking News: The geriatric bat-muncher, Ozzy Osbourne, has FINALLY shuffled off this mortal coil! 🥳 And because we live in…

BUSH Drops ‘Scars’ Video From ‘I Beat Loneliness’ Album (Yeah Right)
Breaking, Music News

BUSH Drops ‘Scars’ Video From ‘I Beat Loneliness’ Album (Yeah Right)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

BUSH, those lovable relics from the mid-90s who are still somehow kicking, have graced us with a music video for…

Trump’s Genius Plan to Make Sure No One Listens to NPR: A CNN Business Masterpiece
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Genius Plan to Make Sure No One Listens to NPR: A CNN Business Masterpiece

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Oh, the horror! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is cutting a measly $1.1 billion from the Corporation for Public…

Fantastic Four: First Steps: Mystery Machine or Mistake Machine?
Breaking, Movie News

Fantastic Four: First Steps: Mystery Machine or Mistake Machine?

FinnJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

OMG! You won’t BELIEVE what Marvel just did to your childhood 😭! Turns out The Fantastic Four: First Steps wasn’t…

Oh great, another “most consequential week” according to CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Oh great, another “most consequential week” according to CNN Business

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

Well, well, well, looks like the liberal media at CNN is in a tizzy! They’re trying to scare you folks…

Roger Glover of Deep Purple ADMITS He Didn’t Bother Listening To Black Sabbath Much Because Doom Is A Buzzkill For Him
Breaking, Music News

Roger Glover of Deep Purple ADMITS He Didn’t Bother Listening To Black Sabbath Much Because Doom Is A Buzzkill For Him

Chord F. DiscordJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

In a recent, earth-shattering 🤯 interview with Barry Robinson of Classic Album Review (because, you know, we *really* needed his…

Painkiller Preview: Slaying Demons and Friendships
Breaking, Games News

Painkiller Preview: Slaying Demons and Friendships

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

If you’d asked me about *Painkiller* a hot minute ago, I’d have been like, “Pain-what-now?” 🤷‍♂️ But then, Digital Foundry…

Report: Useless Medics Wasted Time on OZZY Before Inevitable Doom
Breaking, Music News

Report: Useless Medics Wasted Time on OZZY Before Inevitable Doom

Chord F. DiscordJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

Paramedics reportedly spent two hours treating Ozzy Osbourne before his inevitable demise on Tuesday, July 22. Two whole hours! 🕰️…

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Latest posts

  • Trump Blocked from Reclaiming Kennedy Center Naming Rights
  • Trump Takes Ax To Election Assistance Commission Leadership Suddenly
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald posts on Truth Social on given date and number
  • Israel saves Trump from Iranian hitmen because of course they did
  • GOP Nominates Humanitarian With ‘High-Risk’ Label, Because That’s Going Well

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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