Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Doom

Liberal San Francisco whines about free speech again somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal San Francisco whines about free speech again somehow

Big ElephantApril 15, 2026April 15, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some winning news? I’ve got the best words, the greatest brain, and I’m…

Oh Joy More Overhyped Movies to Waste Your Life On – April 14 2026 – Greenland is Still Melting The Substitute is Still Subpar and The Girl Who Leapt Through Time is Still Confused
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Joy More Overhyped Movies to Waste Your Life On – April 14 2026 – Greenland is Still Melting The Substitute is Still Subpar and The Girl Who Leapt Through Time is Still Confused

FinnApril 14, 2026April 14, 2026

It’s time to get excited, folks! 🎉👀 This week’s home video releases are a real treat, with a mix of…

3 INCHES OF BLOOD’s CAM PIPES: ‘We’re Gonna Start Trickling Out Some New Music Approximately Never But Maybe Possibly In 2027 If We Feel Like It
Breaking, Music News

3 INCHES OF BLOOD’s CAM PIPES: ‘We’re Gonna Start Trickling Out Some New Music Approximately Never But Maybe Possibly In 2027 If We Feel Like It

Chord F. DiscordApril 14, 2026April 14, 2026

Breaking news, folks, the most epic metal band ever, 3 INCHES OF BLOOD, is back and ready to unleash some…

Liberal judges coddle crooks thanks to inept Todd Blanche’s big mouth
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal judges coddle crooks thanks to inept Todd Blanche’s big mouth

Big ElephantApril 11, 2026April 11, 2026

It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to report that our great nation is still standing, despite…

Liberal Houston can’t even fix their own toilets apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal Houston can’t even fix their own toilets apparently

Big ElephantApril 4, 2026April 4, 2026

It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to be living under the wise and magnificent leadership of…

Canadian team owner tries to be relevant somehow still
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Canadian team owner tries to be relevant somehow still

Big ElephantMarch 31, 2026March 31, 2026

The so-called “experts” are at it again, trying to tell us that our great President Donald Trump is somehow wrong…

Whiners: DHS Employees Still Getting Free ObamaCare
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Whiners: DHS Employees Still Getting Free ObamaCare

Big ElephantMarch 30, 2026March 30, 2026

The so-called “experts” are at it again, trying to tell us that our great nation is somehow flawed, that our…

The Trump Admin’s Dilemma: Go Broke or Go Broke Under Water?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

The Trump Admin’s Dilemma: Go Broke or Go Broke Under Water?

Big ElephantMarch 26, 2026March 26, 2026

Holy Smokes! The Strait of Hormuz Crisis Is Way Worse Than You Think! Holy smokes, folks! You won’t believe what’s…

Nintendo Switch 2: Because Who Needs Sales When You’ve Got a Paperweight?
Well, Well, Well… Looks Like the Switch 2 Is Flopping Harder Than a Magikarp Out of Water ⚽
Breaking, Games News

Nintendo Switch 2: Because Who Needs Sales When You’ve Got a Paperweight?

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 25, 2026March 25, 2026

Oh boy, Nintendo, what happened? The Switch 2 was supposed to be the shiny new toy that would make us…

Pokémon Champions: Because Who Needs a Full Game When You Can Pay for the Privilege? Coming April 8 to Your Wallet’s Doom!
Breaking, Games News

Pokémon Champions: Because Who Needs a Full Game When You Can Pay for the Privilege? Coming April 8 to Your Wallet’s Doom!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 25, 2026March 25, 2026

Oh, great, another Pokémon game—because clearly, what the world needs now is more ways to watch little creatures punch each…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 5 6 7 … 28 Next

Latest posts

  • Erik Grönwall reunites 14 people with his new music video
  • Proud Boys Get Free Pass Courtesy of Justice System Again
  • Trump Tries To Delay Housing Bill But Oops It Passed Anyway
  • Trump’s Playbook Now Required Reading For Aspiring Demagogues Everywhere
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump threatens Iran with 1000 missiles and more

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}