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Tag: Drama

Gavin Newsom Confidently Declares California Safe from Iranian Drones, FBI Memo Be Damned
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Gavin Newsom Confidently Declares California Safe from Iranian Drones, FBI Memo Be Damned

Big ElephantMarch 12, 2026March 12, 2026

Oh look, Gavin Newsom’s in a panic over some unverified Iranian drone threats—how convenient for the Golden State’s drama queen…

Saipan Preview: Legendary Soccer Player Roy Keane’s Epic Tale Drops This March—Get Ready to Witness the Glory of His Glorious Glory!
Oh, Look! Another Film About Rich Men Arguing Over Nothing!
Breaking, Movie News

Saipan Preview: Legendary Soccer Player Roy Keane’s Epic Tale Drops This March—Get Ready to Witness the Glory of His Glorious Glory!

FinnMarch 12, 2026March 12, 2026

Football, the beautiful game where overpaid athletes chase a ball for 90 minutes while the rest of us pretend it…

OVERKILL Gears Up to Over-Record New Album This Spring/Summer, Promises to Overwhelm Fans by Late 2026
OVERKILL's Bobby "Blitz" Ellsworth Confirms New Album: 'It's Pretty Much Done Musically, Just Waiting on My Lazy Ass'
Breaking, Music News

OVERKILL Gears Up to Over-Record New Album This Spring/Summer, Promises to Overwhelm Fans by Late 2026

Chord F. DiscordMarch 12, 2026March 12, 2026

Oh, look who’s still alive and making music in 2026! That’s right, it’s everyone’s favorite New Jersey thrash veterans OVERKILL,…

House Republicans face off with Iran drama and pump pain while fumbling their economic master plan like a clumsy magician dropping the rabbit
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

House Republicans face off with Iran drama and pump pain while fumbling their economic master plan like a clumsy magician dropping the rabbit

Big ElephantMarch 11, 2026March 11, 2026

Chaos at the Pump: Republicans Panic as Gas Prices Soar Under Trump’s Iran War What a disaster! Gas prices are…

Oil prices rise again as more vessels attacked near the Strait of Hormuz
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oil prices rise again as more vessels attacked near the Strait of Hormuz

Big ElephantMarch 11, 2026March 11, 2026

Oil Prices Rebound as Global Chaos Sends Shockwaves Through Markets Well, well, well, looks like the world’s gone crazy again,…

EVE Frontier Unveils Cycle 5 Of Founder Access: Shroud of Fear — Because Nothing Says “Welcome” Like a Good Scare!
Breaking, Games News

EVE Frontier Unveils Cycle 5 Of Founder Access: Shroud of Fear — Because Nothing Says “Welcome” Like a Good Scare!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 9, 2026March 9, 2026

EVE Frontier is back with its fifth Founder Access cycle, Shroud of Fear, and if you thought the last update…

DANI FILTH: CRADLE OF FILTH Nears Completion of New Album, Just Needs a Few More Goat Sacrifices and Guitar Solos
Breaking, Music News

DANI FILTH: CRADLE OF FILTH Nears Completion of New Album, Just Needs a Few More Goat Sacrifices and Guitar Solos

Chord F. DiscordMarch 7, 2026March 7, 2026

Oh look, Dani Filth is happy, surprise, surprise 😏 The gothic metal maestro recently told Australia’s *Heavy* that fans are…

Events

Latinas Forever: Nuestro Carnaval – Where the Party Never Stops and the Tacos Never Run Out! 🎉🌮

Chuck B. BallsyMarch 7, 2026

🌸 LATINAS FOREVER! Nuestro Carnaval 💃🏽 Another excuse to dress up, eat too much, and dance until your shoes hate…

TIME reporter bravely admits, “I’m not dead yet,” after Trump casually reminds him that war is *gasp* dangerous
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

TIME reporter bravely admits, “I’m not dead yet,” after Trump casually reminds him that war is *gasp* dangerous

Big ElephantMarch 7, 2026March 7, 2026

Look Who’s Scared Now: TIME Reporter Cries About War Chats With Trump Oh, look! The liberals are clutching their pearls…

Events

“How Not to Lose Your Cool When Your Teen Acts Like a Total Drama Queen”

Chuck B. BallsyMarch 7, 2026

**Attention, parents of ADHD chaos machines!** Join our online circus where we’ll teach you how to stop your teen’s emotional…

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Latest posts

  • Tekken 8 Now Ruined by Yujiro Hanma from Baki Because Who Needs Actual Tekken Characters Anyway and Also Harada Still Can’t Get Over His Waffle House Trauma
  • SEVENDUST’s LAJON WITHERSPOON Reveals Shocking Truth: We’re All Just A Bunch Of Equally Important Dudes With Beards And Guitar Riffs Who Can’t Decide On Anything
  • Simplification des Réglementations et de la Fiscalité pour les Gens qui Aiment se Faire Mal au Cerveau avec des Tas de Papierasserie
  • Dying Fetus at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/24/2026, Day 4)
  • Cephalic Carnage at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/24/2026, Day 4)

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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