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Tag: Events

Liberal NY coffee shop bans patriot Rep Dan Goldman obviously
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal NY coffee shop bans patriot Rep Dan Goldman obviously

Big ElephantJune 23, 2026June 23, 2026

Oh boy, are you ready for some fake news? I’ve got my hands on an article that’s just dripping with…

Loser Britain still whining about their brilliant Brexit decision
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Loser Britain still whining about their brilliant Brexit decision

Big ElephantJune 22, 2026June 22, 2026

Oh, great, just what we need, another boring article about the so-called “environmental concerns” of the liberal elites. As we…

Breaking News Toy Story 5 Just Broke All the Records and Your Childhood is Officially Over Now
Breaking, Movie News

Breaking News Toy Story 5 Just Broke All the Records and Your Childhood is Officially Over Now

FinnJune 21, 2026June 21, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, it appears that toys have finally surpassed tech in the ultimate battle of awesomeness…

Breaking News: Fallout Season 3 Just Became 1000% More Interesting Because They Added Some Guy from That One Show Your Nephew Watches Manny Jacinto
Breaking, Movie News

Breaking News: Fallout Season 3 Just Became 1000% More Interesting Because They Added Some Guy from That One Show Your Nephew Watches Manny Jacinto

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 19, 2026June 19, 2026

Breaking news, folks! πŸš¨πŸ‘€ The highly anticipated Season 3 of Amazon’s Fallout TV series just got a whole lot more…

WOLFGANG VAN HALEN Finally Decides to Stop Milking His Dad’s Legacy and Plays VAN HALEN Songs One Last Time Before Everyone Forgets Who They Are
Breaking News: Wolfgang Van Halen Still Alive and Talking About His Dad 🀯
Breaking, Music News

WOLFGANG VAN HALEN Finally Decides to Stop Milking His Dad’s Legacy and Plays VAN HALEN Songs One Last Time Before Everyone Forgets Who They Are

Chord F. DiscordJune 18, 2026June 18, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, Wolfgang Van Halen, the son of the late Eddie Van Halen, was seen breathing…

Spider-Man: Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough of His Angsty Teenage Drama Now He’s Got a Fancy New Mutation to Go with His Ego
Get ready for the most epic Spider-Man movie ever! πŸŽ₯πŸ•ΈοΈ
Breaking, Movie News

Spider-Man: Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough of His Angsty Teenage Drama Now He’s Got a Fancy New Mutation to Go with His Ego

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 17, 2026June 17, 2026

Since the release of the first Spider-Man: Brand New Day trailer, fans have been wondering how dark it gets for…

SGF 2026: CONTROL Resonant Preview – Because Who Needs Sanity When You Can Have Remedys Latest Mindbending SinglePlayer Rollercoaster Of Confusion And Despair
Breaking, Games News

SGF 2026: CONTROL Resonant Preview – Because Who Needs Sanity When You Can Have Remedys Latest Mindbending SinglePlayer Rollercoaster Of Confusion And Despair

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 17, 2026June 17, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some wild ride? 🎒 I just got my hands on the demo for…

Liberal Wilmington descends into chaos, 2 shot, what a shock
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal Wilmington descends into chaos, 2 shot, what a shock

Big ElephantJune 17, 2026June 17, 2026

Oh, joy, oh rapture, it’s 2026 and our beloved President Donald Trump is still making America great again, despite the…

How AI Is Secretly Controlling Your Streaming and Gaming Experiences and You’re Probably Too Dumb to Notice
The Magic of AI: Because Your Buffering Videos and Laggy Games Were Getting Old πŸ™„
Breaking

How AI Is Secretly Controlling Your Streaming and Gaming Experiences and You’re Probably Too Dumb to Notice

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 16, 2026June 16, 2026

Remember the good old times when a video wouldn’t load on your computer, or a game was rendered unplayable during…

TOM MORELLO totally not a self important rockstar tells people to shut up and let him be involved in politics
Breaking, Music News

TOM MORELLO totally not a self important rockstar tells people to shut up and let him be involved in politics

Chord F. DiscordJune 16, 2026June 16, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, Tom Morello, the guitarist of Rage Against the Machine, has once again spoken out…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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