Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Exclusive

The DAMNED to Release Covers Album Titled ‘Not Like Everybody Else’ (Because Paying Tribute to BRIAN JAMES is Totally Mainstream)
Breaking, Music News

The DAMNED to Release Covers Album Titled ‘Not Like Everybody Else’ (Because Paying Tribute to BRIAN JAMES is Totally Mainstream)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 27, 2025October 27, 2025

OMG! 😱THE DAMNED, those lovable geriatrics of punk, are BACK! And guess what? They’ve decided to grace us with “Not…

“Fear and Now” Documentary: Prepare to Be Mildly Perturbed
Live

“Fear and Now” Documentary: Prepare to Be Mildly Perturbed

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 25, 2025

OMG! PBC in a documentary?! πŸ™„ “Fear and Now” πŸ™„ About modern birth challenges! Doulas, educators, OBs, midwives, and birthing…

Michael Sweet’s Divine Inspiration: Stryper’s frontman admits he *maybe* prays a little when writing songs
Breaking, Music News

Michael Sweet’s Divine Inspiration: Stryper’s frontman admits he *maybe* prays a little when writing songs

Chord F. DiscordOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

In a recent exclusive with Rock Your Faith Out, Michael Sweet, the supreme commander of STRYPER, was quizzed about how…

Hollywood’s “Deadly Cure” Premiere: Stars Risk Life for Bad Movie
Live

Hollywood’s “Deadly Cure” Premiere: Stars Risk Life for Bad Movie

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 24, 2025

OMG! DEADLY CURE MOVIE PREMIERE at the super-historic National Underground Railroad Freedom Center, October 25, 2025, 5:00 PM (Eastern Time)!…

Matthew Modine, bless his heart, thinks you care about his Full Metal Jacket doc
Breaking, Movie News

Matthew Modine, bless his heart, thinks you care about his Full Metal Jacket doc

FinnOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

OMG! πŸ™„ Like, who even cares about another documentary on Stanley Kubrick’s FULL METAL JACKET? Seriously, are we still milking…

Iron Maiden, Megadeth, and Anthrax Announce Geriatric Reunion Tour for 2026, Will Probably Need a Walker
Live, Music News

Iron Maiden, Megadeth, and Anthrax Announce Geriatric Reunion Tour for 2026, Will Probably Need a Walker

Chord F. DiscordOctober 23, 2025October 23, 2025

Ah, yes, the geriatric rockers IRON MAIDEN, bless their cotton socks, are dusting off their walkers and venturing out on…

Sarah Bond Thinks New Xbox Will Cost More Than Your Car
Breaking

Sarah Bond Thinks New Xbox Will Cost More Than Your Car

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 22, 2025October 22, 2025

Alright, gamers, gather ’round and let’s talk about the *totally* not-dying Xbox. 🀣 Apparently, despite rumours of it being yeeted…

SLAYER to Commemorate 40 Years of ‘Reign In Blood’ at Texas SICK NEW WORLD Fest in 2026 (As If We Didn’t See That Coming)
Live, Music News

SLAYER to Commemorate 40 Years of ‘Reign In Blood’ at Texas SICK NEW WORLD Fest in 2026 (As If We Didn’t See That Coming)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 21, 2025October 21, 2025

OMG! 😲 So, the geriatric thrashers, SLAYER, are crawling out of their retirement homes to “celebrate” the 40th anniversary of…

Ninja Gaiden 4: Finally, A Game Where You Can Slice Dudes With A Guinness-Branded Katana
Breaking, Games News

Ninja Gaiden 4: Finally, A Game Where You Can Slice Dudes With A Guinness-Branded Katana

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 20, 2025October 20, 2025

OMG! 🀯 Did you hear about the groundbreaking, earth-shattering, mind-numbingly brilliant marketing stunt Xbox, Koei Tecmo, and Team Ninja pulled…

Rush Still Kicking and Screaming in Your Hometown: The ‘Barely Got My AARP Card’ Tour
Live, Music News

Rush Still Kicking and Screaming in Your Hometown: The ‘Barely Got My AARP Card’ Tour

Chord F. DiscordOctober 20, 2025October 20, 2025

So, Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame inductees (whatever that even means anymore), Grammy Award-nominated (for participation trophies, I assume),…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 21 22 23 … 32 Next

Latest posts

  • Rockies Fan Opens Private Tab To Check Score
  • Trump somehow making things worse for Blanche nomination
  • Exxon rakes in $160 million daily because who needs affordable gas
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump demands compensation for patriots ruined by Biden administration
  • Trump admin tries to rebuild election security infrastructure it gutted as midoffs near

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright Β© 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}