Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Faces

Manor of Darkness: Prepare to Rewatch Your Life (and Die a Lot)
Breaking, Movie News

Manor of Darkness: Prepare to Rewatch Your Life (and Die a Lot)

FinnOctober 17, 2025October 17, 2025

Oh, look, another “horror” movie hitting the digital shelves! 🙄 Ridder Films, bless their cotton socks, have joined forces with…

Judge Demands DOJ Give Back Chicago’s Toys After Border Patrol Shooting Car Crash Kerfuffle
Elephant Reads CNN

Judge Demands DOJ Give Back Chicago’s Toys After Border Patrol Shooting Car Crash Kerfuffle

Big ElephantOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Another day, another Soros-funded “protest” gone wrong! This Marimar Martinez, probably a card-carrying member of the DSA, claims she was…

Analysis: Orange Man Can’t Forget: Indictments Unlock New Level of Presidential Revenge-Fest
Elephant Reads CNN

Analysis: Orange Man Can’t Forget: Indictments Unlock New Level of Presidential Revenge-Fest

Big ElephantOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

Another day, another victory for justice! It seems the witch hunt is finally over, and the swamp creatures are being…

DRY KILL LOGIC Starts New Album Titled ‘Your Sins Will Find You’ and a Spring 2026 Tour (Good Luck with That)
Breaking, Music News

DRY KILL LOGIC Starts New Album Titled ‘Your Sins Will Find You’ and a Spring 2026 Tour (Good Luck with That)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 8, 2025October 8, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Are you guys STILL talking about DRY KILL LOGIC? 😂 After an “explosive” 💥 2025 (explosive like a…

Creed’s “Best Of” Album: Because Once Was Not Enough
Breaking, Music News

Creed’s “Best Of” Album: Because Once Was Not Enough

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 23, 2025September 23, 2025

OMG 😱, fresh from their earth-shattering (and by “earth-shattering” we mean “mildly inconvenient to some”) comeback last year, everyone’s favorite…

California: Where ICE Agents Can’t Even Show Their Faces, But Your Neighbor’s Chihuahua Needs a Therapist
Elephant Reads CNN

California: Where ICE Agents Can’t Even Show Their Faces, But Your Neighbor’s Chihuahua Needs a Therapist

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2025September 22, 2025

Gavin Newsom, or as I like to call him, “Gruesome Newsom,” just signed a bill to unmask our brave law…

Sharon den Adel spills the tea: Within Temptation goes full SJW
Breaking, Music News

Sharon den Adel spills the tea: Within Temptation goes full SJW

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 11, 2025September 11, 2025

In an August 2025 interview with Germany’s Rock Antenne, Sharon Den Adel of Dutch metallers WITHIN TEMPTATION, known for their…

Oh great, another Sydney Sweeney movie, how original
Breaking, Movie News

Oh great, another Sydney Sweeney movie, how original

FinnSeptember 9, 2025September 9, 2025

Black Bear (lol, bears can’t produce movies 🐻🎬) is gracing us with the cinematic masterpiece Christy, starring the one and…

Onimusha: Way of the Sword: Gamescom 2025’s “Stunning” Reboot (Yeah, Right) Preview
Breaking, Games News

Onimusha: Way of the Sword: Gamescom 2025’s “Stunning” Reboot (Yeah, Right) Preview

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 9, 2025September 9, 2025

Oh great, another reboot. Just what the gaming world needed, right? 🙄 As someone who vaguely remembers playing *Onimusha* back…

Street Fighter Movie Trailer Drops: Is This the WWE or a Fighting Game, LOL
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Street Fighter Movie Trailer Drops: Is This the WWE or a Fighting Game, LOL

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

Oh great, another Street Fighter movie! 🙄 As if the last few weren’t cinematic masterpieces (said no one ever), Legendary…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 15 16 17 … 21 Next

Latest posts

  • Pete Buttigieg Tries Again With Black Voters In South Carolina
  • Bret Michaels Scraps Tour Dates Amid Recovery from Recent Surgeries
  • Gene Simmons still won’t leave the stage because your grandma needs to see him one more time
  • DIMMU BORGIR Still Exists Because They Clearly Hate Their Families
  • Bipartisan Magic Happens Kushner And Jeffries Talk Nice

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.