🚨 ATTENTION HUMANS! 🧍♂️🧍♀️ Join our 4-hour “How to Not Die” workshop! 😵💫 Learn to spot suicidal signs & connect people to help! 📞 🤣
**Requirements:**
– Be 16+ (babies not allowed) 👶➡️🚫
– No suicide loss in past 12 months (grief police 👮♂️)
– Answer ALL questions in 7️⃣ days or get CANCELLED! 🗑️
**Safety Rules:**
☕ Arrive on time! Late = NO ENTRY! (15-min rule) ⏰
💻 Zoom? Camera ON! (No potato faces) 🥔➡️📹
🏠 Don’t share rooms in Zoom (echo = death) 🔇
👥 Min 10 people or class RESCHEDULED! 📅
🪑 Physical venue? Bring QR scanner & charged phone! 📱
**Role Play:** Organizers can arrange breakout rooms! 🎭
**When:** Check event page! 📅
**Where:** Online or Physical venue! 🌐🏢
**Cost:** Probably free (we’re nice!) 💸
#SuicidePrevention #CFLIFE #Training #NotADatingSimulator 💑
Chuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports expert who peaked athletically in middle school dodgeball.
Born in Halfcourt, Indiana, Chuck spent his formative years shouting unsolicited advice at professional athletes on TV, firmly believing that his couchside coaching was the key to their success.
Chuck B. Ballsy: because in the game of sports and sarcasm, he’s always the MVP. 🏀🎤
