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Tag: Florida

Florida’s “Spa Resort” for Migrants: Activists Complain About the Lack of a Chocolate Fountain
Elephant Reads CNN

Florida’s “Spa Resort” for Migrants: Activists Complain About the Lack of a Chocolate Fountain

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

Another day, another leftist snowflake crying about something President Trump is doing to Make America Great Again! This time, it’s…

Dave Bautista Volunteered as Tribute for ‘Road House’ Redo
Breaking, Movie News

Dave Bautista Volunteered as Tribute for ‘Road House’ Redo

FinnJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Oh, honey, guess what? πŸ’… They’re making another ‘Road House’ movie! πŸ™„ Because the first one was just *so* good,…

Lou Gramm Still Hawking Foreigner Tunes in Florida: Yawn
Breaking, Music News

Lou Gramm Still Hawking Foreigner Tunes in Florida: Yawn

Chord F. DiscordJune 28, 2025June 28, 2025

OMG! 😱 Did anyone ACTUALLY watch that “performance” from Lou Gramm on the Djbobstar YouTube channel? 🀣 Seriously, it’s like…

Chained Saint in Charlotte, NC (06/25/2025)
Videos

Chained Saint in Charlotte, NC (06/25/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyJune 25, 2025

Thrash Metal from Florida! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as β€œThe Sultan of Snark,”…

DeSantis’s Florida: Now With More Alligators AND Detention Centers
Elephant Reads CNN

DeSantis’s Florida: Now With More Alligators AND Detention Centers

Big ElephantJune 25, 2025June 25, 2025

Florida, led by our fearless leader DeSantis, is doubling down on securing our borders and making sure those pesky illegals…

SIX FEET UNDER to Drag EXHORDER, WRETCHED, and INCITE on a September/October 2025 “Comedy” Tour
Breaking, Music News

SIX FEET UNDER to Drag EXHORDER, WRETCHED, and INCITE on a September/October 2025 “Comedy” Tour

Chord F. DiscordJune 25, 2025June 25, 2025

Behold, the geriatric giants of guttural groans, SIX FEET UNDER, are crawling out of their crypts for a U.S. tour…

5 Things You Need To Know on June 18 (Or Pretend To, IDK)
Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things You Need To Know on June 18 (Or Pretend To, IDK)

Big ElephantJune 18, 2025June 18, 2025

Iran’s Shenanigans, Gaza’s Still a Thing, Crypto Bros Crying, Volcano Go BOOM, and Hockey. 1. Iran Trump, the only one…

M. Shadows of Avenged Sevenfold: Waking Up Excited (and Annoying Fans Since 2001)
Breaking

M. Shadows of Avenged Sevenfold: Waking Up Excited (and Annoying Fans Since 2001)

Chord F. DiscordJune 18, 2025June 18, 2025

AVENGED SEVENFOLD frontman, the one and only M. Shadows, blesses us with his profound wisdom in the latest episode of…

Nezza butchers U.S. anthem in Taco Bell language at baseball game | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Nezza butchers U.S. anthem in Taco Bell language at baseball game | CNN

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, the delicate snowflakes are at it again! A Florida sheriff, probably a closet Trump supporter, had the audacity to…

Jeff Becerra of POSSESSED: Chuck Schuldiner Single-Handedly Saved Death Metal From Obscurity, Apparently
Breaking, Music News

Jeff Becerra of POSSESSED: Chuck Schuldiner Single-Handedly Saved Death Metal From Obscurity, Apparently

Chord F. DiscordJune 14, 2025June 14, 2025

Although DEATH is worshipped as, like, the ONLY death metal band that ever mattered, the Florida-based posers didn’t drop “Scream…

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Latest posts

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  • Backrooms Explained Because You Clearly Need Your Hand Held Through a Bunch of Empty Rooms and Confusing Theories and Also Whats Up with That Async Thingy and Dont Even Get Me Started on the Ending
  • CHARLIE BENANTE Obviously The Real Brain Behind PANTERA Hopes To Bless The World With More PANTERA Music Because Lets Be Real He’s The Only One Who Actually Mattered Anyway

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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