Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Food

BREAKING: Red Lobster Plans to Ruin Your Diet and Relationships with Highly Anticipated Return of the Infamous Endless Shrimp Promotion That Will Obviously End in Carb Coma and Regret
Breaking News: Red Lobster to Revive Endless Shrimp Promotion, Because Who Needs Financial Stability Anyway? 🍴👀
Breaking, Movie News

BREAKING: Red Lobster Plans to Ruin Your Diet and Relationships with Highly Anticipated Return of the Infamous Endless Shrimp Promotion That Will Obviously End in Carb Coma and Regret

FinnApril 3, 2026April 3, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, Red Lobster is rumored to be bringing back the infamous Endless Shrimp promotion that…

Devil May Cry 5 “Devil Hunter Edition” Sneaks Onto Switch 2 in Taiwan, Because Why Not?
Breaking, Games News

Devil May Cry 5 “Devil Hunter Edition” Sneaks Onto Switch 2 in Taiwan, Because Why Not?

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 27, 2026March 27, 2026

Oh boy, here we go again—Capcom is about to grace the Switch 2 with yet another port of a game…

PAPA ROACH’s JACOBY SHADDIX: ‘I Love The Pushback From Rock Culture Against’ A.I. In Music — Because Humans Still Rock, Right?
Oh no, not A.I. music! Quick, somebody call the Rock Police!
Breaking, Music News

PAPA ROACH’s JACOBY SHADDIX: ‘I Love The Pushback From Rock Culture Against’ A.I. In Music — Because Humans Still Rock, Right?

Chord F. DiscordMarch 26, 2026March 26, 2026

In a recent interview with LA Lloyd (the guy who still uses a Discman ironically), PAPA ROACH‘s Jacoby Shaddix revealed…

McDonald’s ‘KPop Demon Hunters’ Meal: Because Even Satan Needs His Happy Meal
McDonald's Unleashes KPop Demon Hunters Meal—Because Your Stomach Needs a Soundtrack
Breaking, Movie News

McDonald’s ‘KPop Demon Hunters’ Meal: Because Even Satan Needs His Happy Meal

FinnMarch 25, 2026March 25, 2026

Oh, look, McDonald’s has decided your taste buds are too vanilla and needs to drop a KPop Demon Hunters collab.…

Farmers Now Paying in Blood, Sweat, and Tears as Fertilizer Costs Skyrocket Thanks to Iran’s War
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Farmers Now Paying in Blood, Sweat, and Tears as Fertilizer Costs Skyrocket Thanks to Iran’s War

Big ElephantMarch 23, 2026March 23, 2026

# Is It Just Us, or Is Trump Trying to Starve America’s Heartland? The war in Iran is pushing up…

NASHVILLE PUSSY RETURNS WITH ’10 INCHES OF PUSSY SEASON 1′ EP AFTER EIGHT YEARS OF QUIETUDE
Breaking, Music News

NASHVILLE PUSSY RETURNS WITH ’10 INCHES OF PUSSY SEASON 1′ EP AFTER EIGHT YEARS OF QUIETUDE

Chord F. DiscordMarch 21, 2026March 21, 2026

Oh, look! Nashville Pussy’s back from their eight-year nap with a shiny new EP! 🍆💅 And before you ask, no,…

Your Tax Refund is Probably Bigger This Year—Unless Trump’s Iran Drama Eats It All Up | CNN Business
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Your Tax Refund is Probably Bigger This Year—Unless Trump’s Iran Drama Eats It All Up | CNN Business

Big ElephantMarch 20, 2026March 20, 2026

Breaking: Your Tax Refund Just Got Wiped Out By Iranian Oil Prices, Thanks Obama So much for that “big, beautiful”…

Meatpacking Workers Revolt: Cows Win as Humans Take a Break for Once!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Meatpacking Workers Revolt: Cows Win as Humans Take a Break for Once!

Big ElephantMarch 16, 2026March 16, 2026

Radical Union Thugs Strike Again, Threatening America’s Meat Supply In yet another blatant display of leftist union thuggery, thousands of…

TSA workers suddenly find out what it’s like to be a government contractor: “Wait, I’m not special?”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

TSA workers suddenly find out what it’s like to be a government contractor: “Wait, I’m not special?”

Big ElephantMarch 14, 2026March 14, 2026

Washington, D.C. – In a stunning display of incompetence, federal employees are once again left holding the bag while politicians…

2026 BAFTA Game Awards Nominees: The Ones Who Stayed Awake Long Enough to Be Considered
BAFTA 2026 Game Awards Nominations: The Gaming World Holds Its Breath (Or Maybe Just Its Stomach)
Breaking, Games News

2026 BAFTA Game Awards Nominees: The Ones Who Stayed Awake Long Enough to Be Considered

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 12, 2026March 12, 2026

The 22nd BAFTA Game Awards 2026 is rapidly approaching, and we now have access to the full list of nominations.…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 7 8 9 … 38 Next

Latest posts

  • US Stocks Up on Cheap Yen Like It’s Black Friday
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 3 2026
  • Spider-Man Breaks Box Office Records Again Because Of Course It Does
  • Why Hollywood Keeps Making the Same Movies Over and Over
  • Lita Ford somehow still alive and making music again

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright Š 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.