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Events

Five Heartbeats Movie: Now With Actual Heartbeats

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 14, 2025

Oh, snap! 🎬 An “unforgettable” πŸ™„ evening at Immersive Dinner- Five Heartbeats Movie! 🍿So unique! Watch *Five Heartbeats* at 27801…

U.S. Furniture Hub Braces for Armageddon (aka Tariffs)
Elephant Reads CNN

U.S. Furniture Hub Braces for Armageddon (aka Tariffs)

Big ElephantOctober 14, 2025October 14, 2025

Ah, CNN, still trying to undermine President Trump’s glorious plan to Make Furniture Great Again! Apparently, helping American workers is…

Luc Besson’s “The Big Blue” Drowning in 4K UHD: A Remastered Tragedy
Breaking, Movie News

Luc Besson’s “The Big Blue” Drowning in 4K UHD: A Remastered Tragedy

FinnOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

Luc Besson’s snoozefest, The Big Blue – starring Jean Reno, Jean-Marc Barr (who?) and Rosanna Arquette (remember her?) – is…

KELLY HANSEN Throws Mic, Sobs Uncontrollably in Farewell Performance with Washed-Up Band, FOREIGNER
Breaking, Music News

KELLY HANSEN Throws Mic, Sobs Uncontrollably in Farewell Performance with Washed-Up Band, FOREIGNER

Chord F. DiscordOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

OMG! Can you believe it? After like, five whole months of pretending he wasn’t already packing his bags πŸ’Ό, Kelly…

Witness Channing Tatum, Kirsten Dunst, LaKeith Stanfield, and a Bunch of Other Overpaid Actors Pretending to Be Roof People in This Ridiculous “Roofman” Trailer
Breaking, Movie News

Witness Channing Tatum, Kirsten Dunst, LaKeith Stanfield, and a Bunch of Other Overpaid Actors Pretending to Be Roof People in This Ridiculous “Roofman” Trailer

FinnOctober 6, 2025October 6, 2025

Okay, folks, buckle up because Hollywood is about to bless us with “Roofman,” a cinematic masterpiece – or at least…

Boca Raton Creatives Dinner: Guaranteed to Cure Your Existential Dread (Or Your Money Back!)
Events

Boca Raton Creatives Dinner: Guaranteed to Cure Your Existential Dread (Or Your Money Back!)

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 5, 2025

**Tired of eating alone? 😭 Join “Dinner with Strangers”! We randomly pick a restaurant, you pay πŸ’Έ, and maybe make…

DreamPark: Augmented Reality Theme Park – Or Just a Glitchy Nightmare?
Events

DreamPark: Augmented Reality Theme Park – Or Just a Glitchy Nightmare?

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 5, 2025

Oh, DreamPark Seattle, where you can move, race & explore πŸ™„. Forget screens, embrace “mixed reality” 🀣 with family, friends…

SEPULTURA Fires Current Drummer, Hires Back Guy They Fired, Extends Farewell Tour to the Year 3000
Breaking, Music News

SEPULTURA Fires Current Drummer, Hires Back Guy They Fired, Extends Farewell Tour to the Year 3000

Chord F. DiscordOctober 5, 2025October 5, 2025

Brazilian/American metallers SEPULTURA, those geriatric rockers who refuse to die, have confirmed that drum prodigy (or victim?) Greyson Nekrutman will…

Marty McFly’s Back: Old Man Scorsese Gets a Docu-Makeover
Breaking, Movie News

Marty McFly’s Back: Old Man Scorsese Gets a Docu-Makeover

FinnOctober 1, 2025October 1, 2025

OMG! 😱 Apple TV+ just dropped a trailer for “Mr. Scorsese,” a five-part docuseries by Rebecca Miller. Five parts?! Is…

CNN Fact Check: Trump Spouts Utter Nonsense to Military Brass, Shocking No One
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Fact Check: Trump Spouts Utter Nonsense to Military Brass, Shocking No One

Big ElephantSeptember 30, 2025September 30, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re trying to twist President Trump’s words and make him look bad.…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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