Gamescom 2025: “Routine”—Yeah, Sure, Another “Survival Horror Classic” In The Making
OMG 😱! After a geological epoch—more than a decade, you peasants!—Routine, the game that’s been more vaporware than actual ware,…
Tag: Gamescom
Onimusha: Way of the Sword: Gamescom 2025’s “Stunning” Reboot (Yeah, Right) Preview
Oh great, another reboot. Just what the gaming world needed, right? 🙄 As someone who vaguely remembers playing *Onimusha* back…
Gamescom 2025: Crimson Desert “Preview” – Prepare to be mildly whelmed by this “complex” fantasy snorefest
So, I played Pearl Abyss’s Crimson Desert, right? 🙄 And let me tell you, it’s a game that thinks it’s…
Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines II: Now With Even MORE Choices (That Probably Don’t Matter)
Oh, honey, let’s talk about Vampire: The Masquerade, that little tabletop RPG from 1991 that just WON’T die 🧛. Yeah,…
Dragon Quest I & II Remake: Prepare for a Twist So Monumental, It’ll Make Your Grandma Question Her Life Choices
Wow, another Dragon Quest remake? 🙄 Is Square Enix officially out of original ideas? Hot on the heels of last…
Gamescom 2025: Resident Evil Requiem—Oh Look, Another Zombie Game
OMG! 😱 Calling Resident Evil Requiem “one of the most anticipated games” is a HUGE stretch. 🙄 After EIGHT years…
IOI Was Totally Not Inspired By James Bond, You Guys
Okay, so IO Interactive (IOI), the studio that brought us the bald assassin we all pretend to like in Hitman,…
Gamescom 2025: Vampire: The Masquerade — Bloodlines 2 Gameplay: Still Not a Complete Disaster, Surprisingly
OMG 😱, has it REALLY been “forever” since we saw Vampire: The Masquerade — Bloodlines 2? Like, I’m pretty sure…
The Lonesome Guild Preview – Prepare for a Story So Rich, You’ll Need a Second Mortgage
Alright, buckle up buttercups 🙄, because I, your supreme overlord of truth (and maybe a little bit of BS), am…
Gamescom Award 2025: The Oscars, But For Games (And Maybe Booths)
Okay, so Gamescom 2025 happened, and apparently, they handed out some participation trophies… I mean, awards. 🙄 Because, you know,…