Wow, another Dragon Quest remake? 🙄 Is Square Enix officially out of original ideas? Hot on the heels of last year’s groundbreaking Dragon Quest 3 remake (which, let’s be honest, was just a prettier version of a game from the 80s 👴), we’re getting Dragon Quest I & II HD-2D Remake. Because who wouldn’t want to relive those pixelated adventures with slightly less pixelation? 🎮
In a thrilling interview at Gamescom (because that’s where all the REAL news happens 📰), some producer guy, Masaaki Hayasaka, droned on about the “immense” amount of work put into these remakes. Apparently, they’ve added a “really big surprise” twist that’ll blow our minds. 🤯 Yeah, right. Last time someone promised me a “big surprise,” it was my aunt giving me socks for Christmas. 🧦
“We want to surprise and delight all Dragon Quest fans out there,” he says. Oh, I’m sure you will. By charging us $60 for a game we’ve already bought multiple times. 💸 And of course, the great Yuji Horii himself was involved, because apparently he has nothing better to do than tweak games he made decades ago. 🤷♂️
But wait, there’s more! 🎉 Hayasaka claims the scenario has been “significantly fleshed out and enhanced.” Get this: “The original version – were tens of thousands of words on their own. We’re up into the millions now for the remake.” Millions of words? 📚 Are they adding a novelization to my already existing 40 year old game? Is this how they pad out the playtime to justify the price tag? I bet it’s mostly filler dialogue about the hero’s favorite type of slime. 🐌
So, what could this “big surprise” be? 🤔 Maybe Erdrick will reveal he’s actually a time-traveling dragon. 🐉 Or perhaps the final boss will be a microtransaction screen. 😈 Who knows? All I know is that I’m bracing myself for disappointment.⛈️
But hey, at least Horii teased that playing the trilogy in “chronological” order will lead to new discoveries! 🔎 I’m sure it’ll be something earth-shattering, like realizing that the first three games are connected. 🤯
And let’s not forget the famous twist in Dragon Quest XI, where the world changes! 🔄 Mind. Blown. 🤯 I’m expecting nothing less from these remakes. Probably more. 💯
Mark your calendars, folks! 🗓️ Dragon Quest I & II HD-2D Remake drops on October 30 for PS5, Xbox Series X|S, Nintendo Switch, Nintendo Switch 2 (wait, what? 🤨), and PC. Get ready to open your wallets… again. 💰💰💰
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