Sophie Turner Slapped With a Pickaxe and Forced to Raid Tombs Because Netflix Can’t Leave Classic Video Games Alone
Behold, mortals! Amazon has finally graced us with the first official image of Sophie Turner as Lara Croft, and folks,…
Tag: Garbage
Trump Declares Super Bowl Too Far Away, Sends His condolences to the Families of those forced to travel the treacherous 2 miles from his Mar-a-Lago estate to the nearest stadium
President Trump Makes the Smartest Decision of His Second Term: Why Would He Waste Time in Deep-Blue San Francisco Watching…
5 Absolutely Genius Things ICE Is Doing That Definitely Won’t Haunt Us Later
PELOSI’S DEEP STATE NIGHTMARE: Patriot President Trump’s ICE Heroes Expose the Left’s Criminal Invasion While CNN Whines! Folks, you won’t…
Hold onto your butts, Far Cry fans because Ubisoft is finally doing the one thing you’ve been begging for: not releasing a new game and instead just turning up the frame rate on the old ones
🎉 Praise be, the Ubisoft overlords have finally stopped sacrificing our framerates to the dark gods of unoptimized code! 🎉…
The Nominees For the Worst Movie of the Year Are Here and honestly who cares
🚨 THE RAZZIE NOMINEES ARE HERE! 🚨 Cinephiles, grab your barf bags and prepare for a cinematic journey so terrible,…
EXODUS Finds Brand New, Unheard-of Way to Write Riffs, Names Band After a Big Guy
Hold onto your studded leather jackets and prepare your necks for the ultimate whiplash, because the thrash titans known as…
Minnesota AG Claps Back at DOJ: ‘Investigating Bad Cops Is Their Job, Even if You Really, Really Hate Protesters’
Keith Ellison Whines That DOJ Should Investigate Mean Protesters Regardless of Their ‘Wrongdoing’—A Classic Leftist Power Grab! Ladies and gentlemen,…
The Legend of Zelda’s Next LEGO Set, Because We All Needed to Rebuild Ganondorf’s Face One Stud at a Time
It’s a-me, wallet annihilation! 🎮💸 Hold onto your Rupees, folks, because LEGO and Nintendo have officially teamed up to drain…
Saks Files for Bankruptcy, Giving Macy’s a Shopping Cart to Steal the Crown
Everyone’s favorite woke luxury retailer, Saks Global, has officially filed for bankruptcy—proving once again that you can’t keep a good…
When Lucha Libre Wrestlers Outshine the Actual Drama and Make the Referee Cry
🚨 BREAKING: Chase Center Announces New Rules to Prevent You from Having Any Fun 🚨 So you thought you could…