Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Glass

I Tried Google’s Smart Glasses and Now My Phone Is Just an Overpriced Pocket Brick
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

I Tried Google’s Smart Glasses and Now My Phone Is Just an Overpriced Pocket Brick

Big ElephantDecember 8, 2025December 8, 2025

Big Tech has finally invented the perfect device for people who think walking into traffic while staring at their phones…

James Hetfield’s Gig: Proof the Bar is Six Feet Under
Breaking, Music News

James Hetfield’s Gig: Proof the Bar is Six Feet Under

Chord F. DiscordNovember 28, 2025November 28, 2025

Attention, fellow headbangers (and those who accidentally stumbled here)! Prepare yourselves for a groundbreaking exposé hotter than Lars Ulrich’s snare…

Wake Up, Buttercup: Another Knives Out Trailer to Judge Harshly
Benoit Blanc returns, probably to solve another murder because that's literally all he does. 😴
Breaking, Movie News

Wake Up, Buttercup: Another Knives Out Trailer to Judge Harshly

FinnNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Daniel Craig is BACK (again) as Benoit Blanc in Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery, because apparently, Rian…

DREAM THEATER Pukes Up ‘Barstool Warrior’ Performance Video From Upcoming ‘Quarantième: Live À Paris’ CD And Blu-Ray (Because Why Not)
Breaking, Music News

DREAM THEATER Pukes Up ‘Barstool Warrior’ Performance Video From Upcoming ‘Quarantième: Live À Paris’ CD And Blu-Ray (Because Why Not)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

🙄 OMG, get ready to clutch your pearls, because those Grammy-hoarding, allegedly “progressive” (debatable, tbh) music titans, DREAM THEATER, are…

Ice Nine Kills Drools Over ’89 Batman, Churns Out Another Generic Track for Clueless Fanboys
Breaking, Music News

Ice Nine Kills Drools Over ’89 Batman, Churns Out Another Generic Track for Clueless Fanboys

Chord F. DiscordOctober 9, 2025October 9, 2025

ICE NINE KILLS, those maestros of musical mayhem, 🤡 invite you to “dance with the devil in the pale moonlight”…

“A Mother’s Embrace” – More Like “A Mother’s Enema”: Prepare for the New Brazilian Horror That Will Make You Question All Your Life Choices
Breaking, Movie News

“A Mother’s Embrace” – More Like “A Mother’s Enema”: Prepare for the New Brazilian Horror That Will Make You Question All Your Life Choices

FinnOctober 7, 2025October 7, 2025

This isn’t just another horror flick; it’s a “twisted and original” (because everything else is just a copy, duh 🙄)…

Disney’s Live-Action Flops: So Bad, They’re Basically Extinct
Breaking, Movie News

Disney’s Live-Action Flops: So Bad, They’re Basically Extinct

FinnOctober 1, 2025October 1, 2025

OMG, like, who even remembers those totally obscure Disney live-action movies? 🙄 We’re talking about cinematic masterpieces so epic, so…

TMNT: Splintered Fate Milks Metalhead for DLC Cash Grab While Giving You Free Scraps
Breaking, Games News

TMNT: Splintered Fate Milks Metalhead for DLC Cash Grab While Giving You Free Scraps

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 30, 2025September 30, 2025

Okay, boomer, listen up! 🙄 The latest excuse to throw your money away on TMNT: Splintered Fate is here! Yes,…

DREAM THEATER Dumps ‘Quarantième: Live À Paris’ CD And Blu-Ray – Prepare for 40th-Anniversary Overkill in Glorious 2024
Breaking, Music News

DREAM THEATER Dumps ‘Quarantième: Live À Paris’ CD And Blu-Ray – Prepare for 40th-Anniversary Overkill in Glorious 2024

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 19, 2025September 19, 2025

Grammy-winning (allegedly), progressive (debatable) music titans DREAM THEATER (who?) will unleash “Quarantième: Live À Paris” (because the French needed more…

Popscene: Neo Yawn
Breaking, Music News

Popscene: Neo Yawn

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 13, 2025September 13, 2025

🤡 Ah, Kedar Massenburg, the President of Motown Records from 1997 to 2004, a true maestro of making a “splash.”…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 6 7 8 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social July 11 2026
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS Donald Trump posts on Truth Social July 11 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on July 11 2026
  • Uh Oh: Mamdani’s New NYC Map Includes ‘Little Auschwitz’ In Brooklyn
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social July 11, 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}