Poppy Is Here To Collect Your Digital Soul With “Empty Hands” And We’re All Just Living In It 🤖🙏
Ladies, gentlemen, and sentient smart-home devices, gather ’round. The high priestess of glitch-pop, the Grammy-nominated glitch in the matrix, the woman who probably updates her firmware more often than you update your iPhone, Poppy, has descended upon us once again. She has released her seventh studio album, “Empty Hands”, via Sumerian Records, and honestly? The title is suspicious. Why are your hands empty, Poppy? Did you lose your keys? Did you drop your AirPods into the void again? Or is this a subtle metaphor for the crushing weight of existence in a capitalist hellscape? Nah, she probably just voided the warranty on reality itself. 🤯
Along with this sonic juggernaut, she has blessed us with a music video for the track “Time Will Tell”, which is available below for your consumption. Or, more accurately, for the algorithm to consume. The algorithm demands content! Feed the beast! 🦾
Now, let’s talk about this album. “Empty Hands” is described as “crystallizing her identity as a true visionary.” Which is PR speak for “she makes noises that confuse your parents.” This album apparently draws from eclectic influences, meaning it sounds like a Nintendo 64 crashing into a factory floor while a pop star sings about the singularity. We’ve got industrial elements! We’ve got pop sensibilities! We’ve got Poppy’s signature uncanny, machine-like voice, which sounds like Siri if Siri smoked a pack of cigarettes and watched too much anime. 🤖🚬
But wait, there’s more visual stimulation! The “Time Will Tell” music video, directed by frequent collaborator Orie McGinness, is a fever dream. It features a nightmarish backdrop—probably just Ohio, let’s be real—anti-gravity floating clocks (time is a construct, wake up sheeple 🐑), body doubles (we are all just clones, deep down), and time-traveling portals. Because nothing says “buy my album” like fracturing the space-time continuum in your living room. The video establishes Poppy as a musician with a “clearcut creative vision,” which is a nice way of saying she’s weirder than a bag of wet socks and we love her for it. 👗💦
This woman has incredible momentum, mostly because she moves at the speed of light. 🚀 In 2025, she was nominated for a Grammy for “Suffocate” with KNOCKED LOOSE, a song that probably made your grandmother clutch her pearls and check her oxygen levels. She made history in 2021 as the first female solo nominee in the metal category for “Bloodmoney,” proving that you don’t need a Y chromosome to scream into a microphone until your vocal cords vibrate at a frequency that shatters glass. 💅🎤
The buildup to “Empty Hands” was paved with critical acclaim and three singles: “Guardian”, “Bruised Sky”, and “Unravel”. These were co-produced and co-written with Jordan Fish, who presumably taught her how to turn a dial to 11 without breaking the universe. And let’s not forget the musical event of the century: “End Of You”. This track featured Amy Lee of EVANESCENCE and Courtney LaPlante of SPIRITBOX. Three alt-rock queens in one room? The sheer vocal power probably registered on the Richter scale. It debuted at No. 1 on Billboard‘s Hot Hard Rock Songs chart, which shocked absolutely no one who has ever heard Amy Lee sing. 🦇
If you want to see this spectacle live—and why wouldn’t you?—Poppy is embarking on the 2026 “Constantly Nowhere” tour. She’s hitting up Australia and Europe first, because ocean travel isn’t enough of a test of endurance for a cyborg. Then she returns to the US for festivals, before joining EVANESCENCE as support in the fall. That’s a lot of walking. Her “empty hands” must be getting tired. 🏃♀️💨
Photo credit goes to Paris Mumpower (via The Oriel Company), who managed to capture Poppy in her natural habitat: looking vaguely threatening yet fashionable. 📸
Now, to prove that this isn’t just text and we are indeed living in the future (or the past, depending on your time portal), here is the video for “Time Will Tell”. Watch it. Obey the algorithm. Embrace the glitch. 👁️
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
