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DOM LAWSON has a heart attack because metal isn’t loud enough apparently his heart needed more motivation
Breaking, Music News

DOM LAWSON has a heart attack because metal isn’t loud enough apparently his heart needed more motivation

Chord F. DiscordAugust 14, 2026August 14, 2026

Oh no, the metal world is shaken to its core: Dom Lawson, the renowned UK metal journalist, has suffered a…

Nolan Wells’ Death Still Shrouded in Convenient Mystery
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Nolan Wells’ Death Still Shrouded in Convenient Mystery

Big ElephantAugust 8, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A mysterious death in Mississippi has the whole country talking, and…

Lou Koller dies and suddenly everyone cares about Sick Of It All again
Breaking, Music News

Lou Koller dies and suddenly everyone cares about Sick Of It All again

Chord F. DiscordJuly 24, 2026July 25, 2026

Oh no, the world has officially ended: Lou Koller, the iconic vocalist of SICK OF IT ALL, has left us…

Riot Grrrl Pioneer Jennifer Finch Loses Brave Fight Against Brain Cancer Because Thats How It Always Goes
Breaking, Music News

Riot Grrrl Pioneer Jennifer Finch Loses Brave Fight Against Brain Cancer Because Thats How It Always Goes

Chord F. DiscordJuly 19, 2026July 19, 2026

Oh no, the music world is literally ending: L7 bassist Jennifer Finch has passed away at 59 🤯. I mean,…

L7 Bassist Jennifer Finch Gets $300,000 for Brain Cancer Fight
Live, Music News

L7 Bassist Jennifer Finch Gets $300,000 for Brain Cancer Fight

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 15, 2026

An unbelievable showing of support has transpired following Monday’s announcement that L7 bassist Jennifer Finch is battling aggressive brain cancer,…

Why Earn It When You Can Crowdfund It? The New Meta for Metal Festival Survival 💀
Death, Taxes, and Death Metal: Andrey Pershin is Crowdfunding Rent While He’s in the Mosh Pit 🤘
Breaking, Music News

Why Earn It When You Can Crowdfund It? The New Meta for Metal Festival Survival 💀

FinnApril 15, 2026April 15, 2026

While you’re rotting away in your cubicle, dreaming of a cold beer and a single weekend without a Slack notification…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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