Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Halloween

Dave Lombardo’s tell-all: The book that will make you say ‘He said WHAT?’
Breaking, Music News

Dave Lombardo’s tell-all: The book that will make you say ‘He said WHAT?’

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 19, 2025September 19, 2025

Breaking News! 🚨 Dave Lombardo, the dude who used to hit things in SLAYER (allegedly), is STILL ALIVE! 👴 He’s…

Adam Berry’s Ghostly Get-Together: Prepare to be Mildly Spooked (and Fleeced)
Live

Adam Berry’s Ghostly Get-Together: Prepare to be Mildly Spooked (and Fleeced)

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 1, 2025

👻🤡 Adam Berry’s back! Prepare for spine-tingling tales! Or not. It’s called This Haunted Life: True Tales of the Paranormal…

‘Back to the Future’ AGAIN?! As If We Haven’t Suffered Enough
Breaking, Movie News

‘Back to the Future’ AGAIN?! As If We Haven’t Suffered Enough

FinnAugust 31, 2025August 31, 2025

OMG 😱! Did you know that if *Back to the Future* was made TODAY 🗓️, Marty McFly would travel back…

AVATAR Drops New Album Title So Basic It Hurts, Unleashes ‘Tonight We Must Be Warriors’ Video (Yawn)
Breaking, Music News

AVATAR Drops New Album Title So Basic It Hurts, Unleashes ‘Tonight We Must Be Warriors’ Video (Yawn)

Chord F. DiscordAugust 27, 2025August 27, 2025

AVATAR (aka that Swedish metal band your cousin pretends to like) – featuring the majestic vocal stylings of Johannes Eckerström…

“Netflix to Unleash K-Pop Exorcists: Prepare for Earworm-Infested Demon Slayage”
Breaking, Movie News

“Netflix to Unleash K-Pop Exorcists: Prepare for Earworm-Infested Demon Slayage”

FinnAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

OMG! 🙄 So, like, the sing-along version of *Kpop Demon Hunters* 🙄 played in, like, over 2100 theaters? 🤣 And…

Krispy Kreme’s Harry Potter Doughnuts: Prepare for Disappointment, Muggles
Breaking, Games News

Krispy Kreme’s Harry Potter Doughnuts: Prepare for Disappointment, Muggles

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 15, 2025August 15, 2025

Oh, sweet lord, brace yourselves, Potterheads! 🧙‍♂️🍩 Krispy Kreme, in its infinite wisdom (or maybe just a desperate plea for…

John Carpenter’s In The Mouth of Mildly Annoyed is Crawling to 4K
Breaking, Movie News

John Carpenter’s In The Mouth of Mildly Annoyed is Crawling to 4K

FinnJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

Do you read Sutter Cane? 📚 Asking for a friend… who may or may not be a Lovecraftian horror. Well,…

2025 Back To School Community Leftovers Giveaway
Live

2025 Back To School Community Leftovers Giveaway

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 27, 2025

**OMG! Free stuff alert! 🚨 Head to 3518 Fredricksburg Rd, August 2nd, for backpacks 🎒, supplies ✏️, hygiene 🧼, food…

HELLOWEEN Drops ‘Universe (Gravity For Hearts)’ – Because Apparently Pumpkins in Space Aren’t Weird Enough on ‘Giants & Monsters’ Album
Breaking, Music News

HELLOWEEN Drops ‘Universe (Gravity For Hearts)’ – Because Apparently Pumpkins in Space Aren’t Weird Enough on ‘Giants & Monsters’ Album

Chord F. DiscordJuly 25, 2025July 25, 2025

Oh great, the geriatric metalheads HELLOWEEN are back to grace us with their presence (and another album we totally asked…

Watch GHOST’s ‘Lachryma’ Performance on Fallon: Prepare for Ritualistic Rock and Potential Summoning of Demons
Breaking, Music News

Watch GHOST’s ‘Lachryma’ Performance on Fallon: Prepare for Ritualistic Rock and Potential Summoning of Demons

Chord F. DiscordJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

GHOST, the Swedish rock band that some people seem to like (for reasons I cannot fathom), graced the stage of…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 7 8 9 10 Next

Latest posts

  • Kamala Harris’ Home Security Actually Works For Once
  • Trump Administration’s Brilliant FEMA Firings Deemed Totally Not Legal
  • Celine Dion Returns to Stage in Paris After Six Years
  • Spin of the Day: Slate Pears Game 394: Sept. 12, 2026 — 87% Journalism Not Found
  • Hegseth desperately tries to make Iran rescue sound exciting

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.