Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Heart

Texas Democrats Finally Have Reason To Not Completely Lose Hope
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Democrats Finally Have Reason To Not Completely Lose Hope

Big ElephantOctober 13, 2026

I’m sitting here with my coffee, reading about the Texas Senate race, and I just can’t help but think, folks,…

Game Design Demystified: Where Art Meets Crunch Time and Soul Selling
Breaking

Game Design Demystified: Where Art Meets Crunch Time and Soul Selling

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 13, 2026October 13, 2026

Oh joy, you want to join the ranks of the eternally sleep-deprived and creatively drained game designers. Well, buckle up,…

Because What The World Needed Was Another Blade Runner Sequel Apparently
Breaking, Movie News

Because What The World Needed Was Another Blade Runner Sequel Apparently

FinnOctober 12, 2026October 12, 2026

It’s not like we’ve been waiting for a decent sci-fi movie to come along, but Amazon’s upcoming series Blade Runner…

Because What Hollywood Needs is More IP to Milk Forever
Breaking, Movie News

Because What Hollywood Needs is More IP to Milk Forever

FinnOctober 12, 2026October 12, 2026

The cosplayers were out in full force at New York Comic-Con over the weekend, because of course they were. Every…

Billionaire Elon Musk Writes Huge Check to Republicans
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Billionaire Elon Musk Writes Huge Check to Republicans

Big ElephantOctober 12, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping on my coffee and reading about Elon Musk’s latest move, and let me tell you, it’s a…

Apparently Knowing Someone Isn’t Actually Knowing Them At All
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Apparently Knowing Someone Isn’t Actually Knowing Them At All

Big ElephantOctober 12, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The story of Antoinette Forbes is a real-life mystery that’s got…

Robots malfunction, lawyers rub hands together
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Robots malfunction, lawyers rub hands together

Big ElephantOctober 12, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The AI industry is getting ready for its stock market debut,…

Philadelphia House Suddenly Remembers Woman Who Vanished Eight Years Ago
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Philadelphia House Suddenly Remembers Woman Who Vanished Eight Years Ago

Big ElephantOctober 11, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The story of Nicole Fusaro, a 27-year-old woman who went missing…

Democrats Get Warning From Raphael Warnock Ahead Of 2028
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Democrats Get Warning From Raphael Warnock Ahead Of 2028

Big ElephantOctober 11, 2026

As I sipped my coffee and read about Senator Raphael Warnock’s trip to New Hampshire, I couldn’t help but think…

Jaguar spends 130k on car that still can’t escape traffic
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Jaguar spends 130k on car that still can’t escape traffic

Big ElephantOctober 10, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Jaguar, the luxury car brand, just unveiled its new electric vehicle,…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 4 … 29 Next

Latest posts

  • Crypta in Charlotte, NC (10/121/2026)
  • Nathan Fielder Quietly Deletes Footage Of Theranos Machine Working Perfectly
  • Central Park Horse Whips Get Yanked Possibly Ending Jobs
  • Anuel AA And Maluma Dive Into Música Mexicana Scene
  • SNL Taps The Strokes and Phoebe Bridgers for New Episodes

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.