NEUROSIS Drops Unexpected Masterpiece: ‘An Undying Love For A Burning World’ – Fans Go Berserk Over Decade-Long Wait!
So, NEUROSIS just did that thing where they casually release a new album after a 10-year silence, as if to…
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SWAN Webinar: RSD – The Magical Tale-Weaver That Makes Up Stuff So You Don’t Have To
Join Teodora Byrne for a thrilling exploration of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD)! 🎪 Prepare for a rollercoaster ride through the…
Longtime Epstein attorney claims he was too busy lawyering to notice the tiny detail of sexual abuse
Look at This – Another “Epstein” Employee Playing Dumb Before Congress! Well, well, well – look who’s singing the “I…
State AGs sue to block Nexstar-Tegna merger another Trump-backed megadeal
Oh Look, the Leftist Enforcers Are at It Again! In a desperate attempt to thwart the will of President Trump,…
Disney’s Transformation: From Magic Kingdom to Gas Price Tracking? Chavez’s Ghost Weighs In
Welcome to 5 Things PM, where we celebrate the glorious reign of our Supreme Leader, Donald J. Trump! While the…
Starfield Is Coming to PlayStation 5 With New DLC This April—Bethesda’s Galactic Cash Grab Continues!
It’s finally happening, PlayStation fans. After years of Bethesda’s space RPG being an Xbox exclusive, Starfield is blasting off to…
Senate Foreign Relations Clown, Dem Sen. Chris Van Hollen, Yaps About Oil Shipping Route Drama
OMG, Libs Are Freaking Out Over Trump’s Plan to Secure Oil! (Again!) Oh, good gravy, here we go again! The…
“Bridges Out of Poverty Workshop: Because Who Needs Roads Anyway?”
Ready to escape poverty? Join our virtual workshop! 😏 This Bridges Out of Poverty training uses the magic lens of…
OFFICIAL RIVER NORTH BAR CRAWL: Irish You Were Here (5th Annual) — Because Who Needs Liver Cells Anyway?
Here’s the article rewritten in a satirical, funny style with trolling: Attention all degenerate drinkers! Get ready to celebrate St.…
TRIXTER’s ‘Phenomenal’ New Album Will ‘Probably’ Arrive In Early 2027: ‘Everybody Is Gonna Be Blown Away’ — Or At Least Mildly Confused
In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming, TRIXTER guitarist/vocalist Steve Brown has once again confirmed…