Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: HELP

Trump Holding Kennedy Center Hostage For Totally Legit Reasons Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Holding Kennedy Center Hostage For Totally Legit Reasons Apparently

Big ElephantSeptember 18, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Donald Trump’s latest antics, and I just can’t help but shake…

Udo still making music somehow
Breaking, Music News

Udo still making music somehow

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 18, 2026September 18, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some serious nostalgia and a whole lot of metal? Because Udo Dirkschneider and…

Stray Cat Sparks Heroic Quest In San Bernardino Backyard
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Stray Cat Sparks Heroic Quest In San Bernardino Backyard

Big ElephantSeptember 18, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Jaina Spagis, a woman who has dedicated her life to rescuing cats in…

Trump’s New Green Card Rule Sparks Controversy Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s New Green Card Rule Sparks Controversy Somehow

Big ElephantSeptember 18, 2026

I’m sitting here sipping my coffee, reading about the latest Trump administration rule, and I have to say, folks, this…

Trump Demands Branding on Peace Institute Building Because Ego
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Demands Branding on Peace Institute Building Because Ego

Big ElephantSeptember 17, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama in DC, and I just can’t help but chuckle.…

White House suddenly remembers vetting process exists
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

White House suddenly remembers vetting process exists

Big ElephantSeptember 17, 2026

Folks, it looks like the White House is pulling the plug on Lance Schroyer’s nomination to lead Immigration and Customs…

Because What Street FighterNeeded Was More Merchandising
Breaking, Movie News

Because What Street FighterNeeded Was More Merchandising

FinnSeptember 17, 2026September 17, 2026

The latest marketing stunt to hit the theaters is a Street Fighter themed popcorn bucket, because what every movie needs…

Evan Seinfeld Calls Out 90% Of Metalheads For Being Slobs
Breaking, Music News

Evan Seinfeld Calls Out 90% Of Metalheads For Being Slobs

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 17, 2026September 18, 2026

I just spit out my beer when I heard that Evan Seinfeld, the vocalist and bassist of Biohazard, has launched…

Tennessee Finally Wraps Up Hurricane Helene’s To-Do List
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Tennessee Finally Wraps Up Hurricane Helene’s To-Do List

Big ElephantSeptember 17, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The remains of Nancy Tucker, the final missing Tennessee victim from…

Kamala Harris Taking Her Sweet Time Deciding on 2028
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Kamala Harris Taking Her Sweet Time Deciding on 2028

Big ElephantSeptember 17, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like Kamala Harris is keeping everyone waiting on her…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 8 9 10 … 91 Next

Latest posts

  • China’s Secret Agent Apparently Didn’t Get The Memo
  • Southern Georgia Block Party Apparently Not That Fun This Year
  • Spin of the Day: The puzzle features nine pears for players to solve. — 86% Journalism Not Found
  • Bombers Leave UK Base Suddenly Remembering They Have Homes
  • Alice Cooper Still Trying To Validate 78 Years Of Existence

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.