Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: HELP

Anno 117: Pax Romana: Juggling Romans While Rome Burns: A Preview for Aspiring Emperors (and Disaster Tourists)
Breaking, Games News

Anno 117: Pax Romana: Juggling Romans While Rome Burns: A Preview for Aspiring Emperors (and Disaster Tourists)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Okay, so I’ve played Anno 117: Pax Romana again, and guess what? I’m still trash at it. I thought I…

OMG! Dem Moneybags vs Poor Lil’ Republicans: Senate Race Edition
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! Dem Moneybags vs Poor Lil’ Republicans: Senate Race Edition

Big ElephantOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Oh, the horror! The radical socialist Democrats are raking in the dough, probably from George Soros and the Chinese Communist…

Trump’s Toy Soldiers Still Stuck in Their Barracks, Thanks to This Party-Pooping Judge
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Toy Soldiers Still Stuck in Their Barracks, Thanks to This Party-Pooping Judge

Big ElephantOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Another day, another Deep State operative sabotaging our glorious President Trump! This time, it’s some activist judge in Oregon, Karin…

Tom Gabriel Fischer on CELTIC FROST’s ‘Cold Lake’: More Like ‘Cold Turd,’ Am I Right? (My Ears Still Bleed After 44 Years)
Breaking, Music News

Tom Gabriel Fischer on CELTIC FROST’s ‘Cold Lake’: More Like ‘Cold Turd,’ Am I Right? (My Ears Still Bleed After 44 Years)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 15, 2025October 15, 2025

In a recent chat with some dude named Alejandrosis on YouTube, CELTIC FROST overlord Tom Gabriel Fischer (aka Tom Warrior,…

Stryper’s Michael Sweet and Wifey Launch a ‘Faith in Music’ Foundation Because Apparently God Needs Help With Spotify
Breaking, Music News

Stryper’s Michael Sweet and Wifey Launch a ‘Faith in Music’ Foundation Because Apparently God Needs Help With Spotify

Chord F. DiscordOctober 15, 2025October 15, 2025

HOLY MOLY! STRYPER frontman (still?) Michael Sweet and his lovely (we assume) wife Lisa have descended from their ivory tower…

“Send Help” Trailer: Sam Raimi Finally Crawls Out of His Hole After 15 Years (Were We Waiting?)
Breaking, Movie News

“Send Help” Trailer: Sam Raimi Finally Crawls Out of His Hole After 15 Years (Were We Waiting?)

FinnOctober 14, 2025October 14, 2025

Oh great, another Sam Raimi movie! 🙄 As if we haven’t suffered enough, the guy who peaked with Spider-Man 2…

Danny Schuler of BIOHAZARD Boasts: “We Actually Try, Unlike Some Bands”
Breaking, Music News

Danny Schuler of BIOHAZARD Boasts: “We Actually Try, Unlike Some Bands”

Chord F. DiscordOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

Oh, look! It’s BIOHAZARD back from the dead like that one zombie movie nobody remembers. 🧟‍♂️ In an EXCLUSIVE interview…

FAQ: Why Uncle Sam Just Tossed 20 Big Ones at Argentina (Again?!)
Elephant Reads CNN

FAQ: Why Uncle Sam Just Tossed 20 Big Ones at Argentina (Again?!)

Big ElephantOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

Another day, another socialist media meltdown! CNN is losing its mind because President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is helping…

Trump Does a Free Speech Backflip—Nailed It (Said No One Ever)
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Does a Free Speech Backflip—Nailed It (Said No One Ever)

Big ElephantOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

Oh, the irony! Apparently, now that we have a REAL President in office, suddenly “free speech” is a problem for…

Wes Scantlin Honors Rock Gods (R.I.P.) with a ‘Firefly’ Song (Please Hold Your Applause)
Breaking, Music News

Wes Scantlin Honors Rock Gods (R.I.P.) with a ‘Firefly’ Song (Please Hold Your Applause)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 11, 2025October 11, 2025

Ah, yes, the musical geniuses 🧠 behind PUDDLE OF MUDD, those purveyors of sonic brilliance, have graced us with a…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 41 42 43 … 46 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump slams Dumocrats as loud and lost
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump claims America will never go communist
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump claims landslide presidential election win despite bad press
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump claims historic landslide election win despite negative press
  • Democrat Voters Excited To See Who Party Will Unilaterally Nominate Next

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}