Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: HELP

First Class Now Includes Free Duct Tape Restraints
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

First Class Now Includes Free Duct Tape Restraints

Big ElephantSeptember 4, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A passenger on American Airlines Flight 618 from Dallas Fort Worth…

US Lets Venezuelan Businessman Off Hook Because Oil
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US Lets Venezuelan Businessman Off Hook Because Oil

Big ElephantSeptember 4, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems that Venezuelan businessman Alejandro Betancourt has been at the…

Trump’s Economic D-Day For Iran Still Pending, Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Economic D-Day For Iran Still Pending, Apparently

Big ElephantSeptember 4, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest US sanctions on Iran, and I have to say, it’s…

Mega Man reboot hijacked by gimmicky dual protagonist nonsense again
Breaking, Games News

Mega Man reboot hijacked by gimmicky dual protagonist nonsense again

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 4, 2026September 4, 2026

It’s been a long time coming, but CAPCOM is finally bringing back the Blue Bomber in a big way. Nearly…

Epstein’s Beauty Tips Apparently Involved Lots of Hair Dye
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Epstein’s Beauty Tips Apparently Involved Lots of Hair Dye

Big ElephantSeptember 4, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. So, it turns out that Jeffrey Epstein, the infamous convicted sex…

EXODUS preview sparks hope for space RPG revival amidst industry chaos
Breaking, Games News

EXODUS preview sparks hope for space RPG revival amidst industry chaos

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 4, 2026September 4, 2026

As a seasoned gamer who’s been around the block a few times, I’ve seen my fair share of “next big…

Vance Parrots Trump’s Totally Made-Up $19 Trillion Investment Claim
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Vance Parrots Trump’s Totally Made-Up $19 Trillion Investment Claim

Big ElephantSeptember 4, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest from the White House, and I just can’t help but…

Rikki Rockett Still Alive Somehow After Beating Cancer
Breaking, Music News

Rikki Rockett Still Alive Somehow After Beating Cancer

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 4, 2026September 4, 2026

In a stunning turn of events, POISON drummer Rikki Rockett has revealed that he’s still kicking after being diagnosed with…

Algae just won’t quit its Reflecting Pool gig apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Algae just won’t quit its Reflecting Pool gig apparently

Big ElephantSeptember 4, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the Lincoln Reflecting Pool renovation, and folks, it’s a mess. The Trump administration…

Missouri Judges Troll Trump With Democracy Thing
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Missouri Judges Troll Trump With Democracy Thing

Big ElephantSeptember 3, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Missouri Supreme Court has blocked those new congressional districts backed…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 4 5 6 … 80 Next

Latest posts

  • Politicians Suddenly Experts On Catastrophic AI Risk
  • Nostalgia Cash-In Alert: Ocarina of Time Remake Promises Familiar Delights
  • Emmys Producers Warn Aging Stars Deadline For ‘In Memoriam’ Segment Midnight
  • Democrats Gain Momentum, Republicans Construct Obstacle To Progress Literally
  • Chad Gray still touring because your uncle wont stop playing Drowning Pool

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.