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Terrorism suspect convicted of stabbing famous author in the neck somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Terrorism suspect convicted of stabbing famous author in the neck somehow

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A man named Hadi Matar was convicted of federal terrorism charges…

Trump Takes On Dulles Airport Because Why Not At This Point
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Takes On Dulles Airport Because Why Not At This Point

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. President Donald Trump has unveiled a major renovation plan for Dulles…

Fauci Takes Fifth Amendment Route To Senate Question Dodge
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fauci Takes Fifth Amendment Route To Senate Question Dodge

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2026

Well, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Dr. Anthony Fauci, the man who’s been the face of…

GOP Senator Throws Tantrum Over Blanche Nomination
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Senator Throws Tantrum Over Blanche Nomination

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and trying to make sense of this mess. So, it seems like Todd Blanche’s nomination…

Dez Fafara’s Brain Somehow Still Intact Despite Years of Nu Metal
Breaking, Music News

Dez Fafara’s Brain Somehow Still Intact Despite Years of Nu Metal

Chord F. DiscordJuly 29, 2026July 29, 2026

I just spilled my beer all over my desk because I was so excited to read that Dez Fafara, the…

Feds Finally Found Someone They Could Investigate
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Feds Finally Found Someone They Could Investigate

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama involving former FBI Director James Comey, and I’ve got…

Hollywood Star’s Dark Side Exposed Amid Sexual Misconduct Allegations
Breaking, Music News

Hollywood Star’s Dark Side Exposed Amid Sexual Misconduct Allegations

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 29, 2026July 29, 2026

Because what the gaming world really needed was another celebrity scandal to spice up our lives, a new report from…

Trump Apparently Not Ignoring Everything
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Apparently Not Ignoring Everything

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2026

Well, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A new CNN poll has found that a record-high 73%…

Citigroup Alumni Gets 30 Year Prison Membership Perk
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Citigroup Alumni Gets 30 Year Prison Membership Perk

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A Harvard-educated former managing director at Citigroup Inc. was sentenced to…

Newsom’s 20-Year-Old Skeleton Finally Gets a Name
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Newsom’s 20-Year-Old Skeleton Finally Gets a Name

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Gavin Newsom’s latest drama, and folks, it’s a doozy. A former staffer, Ruby…

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