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Christian Organization Thrilled To Get Employee Back After Only 9 Months
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Christian Organization Thrilled To Get Employee Back After Only 9 Months

Big ElephantAugust 14, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest news, and I’ve got to say, this one’s a doozy.…

DOM LAWSON has a heart attack because metal isn’t loud enough apparently his heart needed more motivation
Breaking, Music News

DOM LAWSON has a heart attack because metal isn’t loud enough apparently his heart needed more motivation

Chord F. DiscordAugust 14, 2026August 14, 2026

Oh no, the metal world is shaken to its core: Dom Lawson, the renowned UK metal journalist, has suffered a…

Paxton Calmly Tells Republicans To Stop Freaking Out Already
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Paxton Calmly Tells Republicans To Stop Freaking Out Already

Big ElephantAugust 14, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading about Ken Paxton’s latest campaign moves. It seems like he’s trying to unify…

Nick Holmes Still Clinging To Gothic Metal Label Because It Sounds Cooler Than Middle Aged Man Playing Music
Breaking, Music News

Nick Holmes Still Clinging To Gothic Metal Label Because It Sounds Cooler Than Middle Aged Man Playing Music

Chord F. DiscordAugust 14, 2026August 14, 2026

Oh no, the pioneers of gothic metal are still alive and kicking, and I’m not sure if I should be…

Terry Butler vows to never again enable Kam Lee’s antics because apparently his sanity is worth more than a paycheck
Breaking, Music News

Terry Butler vows to never again enable Kam Lee’s antics because apparently his sanity is worth more than a paycheck

Chord F. DiscordAugust 13, 2026August 13, 2026

I just spilled my beer all over my desk because I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact…

Paul Mazurkiewicz Worried He Might Have To Get Real Job Soon
Breaking, Music News

Paul Mazurkiewicz Worried He Might Have To Get Real Job Soon

Chord F. DiscordAugust 13, 2026August 13, 2026

I just stumbled upon an interview with Paul Mazurkiewicz, the drummer for Cannibal Corpse, and I’m shocked – SHOCKED! –…

VA Secretary Loses Trust of White House and Republicans Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

VA Secretary Loses Trust of White House and Republicans Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 13, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like the drama never ends in Washington, and this…

Oli Sykes and Courtney LaPlante somehow roped into making music for gamers now
Breaking, Music News

Oli Sykes and Courtney LaPlante somehow roped into making music for gamers now

Chord F. DiscordAugust 13, 2026August 13, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some earth-shattering news? 🤯 I mean, I can barely contain my excitement… Riot…

Grand Jury Gives Ex-Cop Plotting Attack a Free Get Out Jail Card
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Grand Jury Gives Ex-Cop Plotting Attack a Free Get Out Jail Card

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A former law enforcement officer, Christopher Gillum, was accused of planning…

Looney Tunes RebootMachine Churns Out Another Soulless Cash Grab
Breaking, Movie News

Looney Tunes RebootMachine Churns Out Another Soulless Cash Grab

FinnAugust 12, 2026August 12, 2026

The latest attempt to revive a beloved franchise has finally hit theaters, because of course it has. Coyote vs. Acme…

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