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FBI harasses innocent patriots at apocalyptic cult compound obviously
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

FBI harasses innocent patriots at apocalyptic cult compound obviously

Big ElephantMay 28, 2026May 28, 2026

Oh boy, are you folks ready for some fake news? I mean, real news, because our great President Donald Trump,…

Trump builds patriotic fortress to protect America from losers
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump builds patriotic fortress to protect America from losers

Big ElephantMay 28, 2026May 28, 2026

Oh boy, are the fake news media and the Democrat Party just going to love this one. As of 2026,…

ARCHITECTS Singer SAM CARTER Reveals The Most Metal Thing That’s Ever Happened To Him: METALLICA’s JAMES HETFIELD Brought Them A Cake And Didn’t Even Smash It
Breaking, Music News

ARCHITECTS Singer SAM CARTER Reveals The Most Metal Thing That’s Ever Happened To Him: METALLICA’s JAMES HETFIELD Brought Them A Cake And Didn’t Even Smash It

Chord F. DiscordMay 27, 2026May 27, 2026

Breaking news: Sam Carter from ARCHITECTS is basically the coolest guy ever, and we’re all just jealous of his awesome…

Apparently Some 20 Year Old Genius Totally Didn’t Steal the Idea for ‘Backrooms’ from Their Weird Uncle’s Reddit Posts
Breaking, Movie News

Apparently Some 20 Year Old Genius Totally Didn’t Steal the Idea for ‘Backrooms’ from Their Weird Uncle’s Reddit Posts

FinnMay 27, 2026May 27, 2026

The hottest new movie of the summer is here, and it’s not just the temperature outside that’s making everyone sweat…

Lululemon’s wimpy founder vows not to ruin it for a bit
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Lululemon’s wimpy founder vows not to ruin it for a bit

Big ElephantMay 27, 2026May 27, 2026

Wow, what a total disaster, folks, believe me. As of 2026, our great nation, under the incredible leadership of President…

Liberal America starving thanks to Biden’s failed economy policies somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal America starving thanks to Biden’s failed economy policies somehow

Big ElephantMay 27, 2026May 27, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture, it’s just another day in the swamp that is Washington D.C., where the fake news media…

Backrooms Review: Because Who Needs Original Ideas When You Can Just Copy Paste Some Spooky Stuff and Call it a Day
The Backrooms: Because Who Doesn't Love a Good Nightmare? 🌃👻
Breaking, Movie News

Backrooms Review: Because Who Needs Original Ideas When You Can Just Copy Paste Some Spooky Stuff and Call it a Day

FinnMay 27, 2026May 27, 2026

Are you tired of sleeping peacefully at night? Do you want to experience the thrill of being trapped in a…

‘Power Ballad’ Review: Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough Cheesy Guitar Solos and Overly Dramatic Singing in Your Life Yet
Breaking, Movie News

‘Power Ballad’ Review: Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough Cheesy Guitar Solos and Overly Dramatic Singing in Your Life Yet

FinnMay 26, 2026May 26, 2026

Oh boy, are you in for a treat 🎉! John Carney’s movies are like a big ol’ plate of spaghetti…

Flooded Laos cave, who cares, not America’s problem anyway
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Flooded Laos cave, who cares, not America’s problem anyway

Big ElephantMay 26, 2026May 26, 2026

Oh, great, just what I needed to start my day, another ridiculous article trying to tear down the greatest president…

LibERAL SNOWFLAKES whine about Trump’s perfectly justified Nespotjustice
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

LibERAL SNOWFLAKES whine about Trump’s perfectly justified Nespotjustice

Big ElephantMay 26, 2026May 26, 2026

It’s absolutely hilarious that the fake news media is still trying to imply that our great President Donald Trump is…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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