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Tag: horror

Code Vein II Producer Keita Iizuka Explains How Time Travel Factors In
Breaking, Games News

Code Vein II Producer Keita Iizuka Explains How Time Travel Factors In

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 5, 2026January 5, 2026

Oh great, another cash grab disguised as “innovation” in gaming. Buckle up, you degenerates, because Bandai Namco just dropped the…

How to Get Kidnapped on TikTok: A Guide to Social Media Safety and Human Trafficking (Spoiler Alert: Don’t Post Your Location)
Events

How to Get Kidnapped on TikTok: A Guide to Social Media Safety and Human Trafficking (Spoiler Alert: Don’t Post Your Location)

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 5, 2026

🚨BREAKING: Adults Finally Realize the Internet Exists—Schedule Emergency Meeting to Warn Kids About Social Media Dangers (Despite Still Using Facebook)…

Events

Wine Crawl Detroit: Pre-Sale Wait List for Those Who Missed the Party

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 5, 2026

Wine Crawl is swooping into Detroit like a tipsy superhero, promising to save Michiganders from the horror of… regular water!…

Amorphis’s Santteri Kallio Thinks AI Music Videos Are the Future Because He’s Too Lazy to Hire a Director
Breaking, Music News

Amorphis’s Santteri Kallio Thinks AI Music Videos Are the Future Because He’s Too Lazy to Hire a Director

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 4, 2026January 4, 2026

Oh great, another day on the internet where we’re not just debating whether robots will replace us, but whether they’ll…

Caribbean vacations ruined by pesky clouds and bureaucracy
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Caribbean vacations ruined by pesky clouds and bureaucracy

Big ElephantJanuary 4, 2026January 4, 2026

Another day, another American military operation to save the world from another socialist dictator – and now the snowflakes in…

John Wick and Saw Games In Development, Confirmed By Lionsgate – Because Apparently Video Games Still Exist
Breaking, Games News

John Wick and Saw Games In Development, Confirmed By Lionsgate – Because Apparently Video Games Still Exist

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 4, 2026January 4, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Lionsgate Announces New John Wick and Saw Games, Because Apparently We Need More Ways to Die in Virtual…

10 Remakes That Completely Butchered the Original in the Funniest Genres Possible
Breaking, Movie News

10 Remakes That Completely Butchered the Original in the Funniest Genres Possible

FinnJanuary 4, 2026January 4, 2026

🚨BREAKING: Hollywood Discovers That Copying Movies Is Cheaper Than Therapy, Proceeds to Ruin Everything We Loved 🚨 In a stunning…

LEFT TO DIE Says Talked About Making Music: ‘That Would Be Great’ Says RICK ROZZ
Breaking, Music News

LEFT TO DIE Says Talked About Making Music: ‘That Would Be Great’ Says RICK ROZZ

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 4, 2026January 4, 2026

Oh, you didn’t know? Death metal’s back, and it’s brought a casket of nostalgia, a few riffs, and absolutely zero…

CANNIBAL CORPSE’s ALEX WEBSTER Claims Death Metal Is Basically SLAYER’s Unhinged Lovechild
Breaking, Music News

CANNIBAL CORPSE’s ALEX WEBSTER Claims Death Metal Is Basically SLAYER’s Unhinged Lovechild

Chord F. DiscordDecember 31, 2025December 31, 2025

When Death Metal Was Just Dad’s Old Rock Records and a Dream 😈🎸 Back in the day, before streaming algorithms…

“One Last Time,” The Stranger Things Finale Trailer Suggests We Might Finally Get Some Answers (Or Just More Questions)
Breaking, Movie News

“One Last Time,” The Stranger Things Finale Trailer Suggests We Might Finally Get Some Answers (Or Just More Questions)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 30, 2025December 30, 2025

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Netflix Just Dropped a Trailer That Proves We’re All Gonna Cry on New Year’s Eve 🚨 🎉😭🍿…

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Latest posts

  • Get Ready for the Most Epic Traffic Jam of the Year at 2026 FuelFest Bay Area
  • Because Hackers Love Homework Too Let’s Strengthen K-12 Cybersecurity Already
  • Media Molecule’s Next Game Will Probably Be a Reboot of Knack with a Battle Royale Mode and a Subscription Service
  • Logitech Finally Creates Products That Won’t Give You Carpal Tunnel After 5 Minutes Of Use Maybe
  • MARK MORTON Still Shocked Nobody Has Copied LAMB OF GOD’s Unique Sound After Only 25 Years of Being Totally Original and Not At All Influenced by Anyone Else

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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