MINISTRY’s AL JOURGENSEN Stars In ‘Jesus Cop’—Because Who Needs Sermons When You’ve Got Industrial Riffs?
Move over, Marvel — Jesus Cop is here to save the world with blood, blasphemy, and probably a flamethrower Oh,…
Tag: horror
“Breaking: Don Lemon Finally Cuffed – CNN’s Own Anchor Arrested in Shocking Twist!”
Oh no, poor Don Lemon—the radical leftist “journalist” who suddenly found himself in handcuffs after allegedly inciting chaos at a…
Future You Already Regrets Watching: Your Dying DVD Player’s Clickbait Roundup – Bruce Springsteen Yells at Clouds: The Movie, House Party: Grandpa’s ‘Lit’ Reboot, Altered: Somehow More Depressing Than Monday, King of Beggars: Oscar Bait So Thirsty It’ll Tow Your Car, Plus 37 Other Things You’ll Instantly Forget
Hold onto your dusty VHS tapes, cinephiles! 🎬 This week’s home video releases are like a bargain bin at a…
The Definitive (And Only) Ranking of Sam Raimi’s Most Bonkers Creations Because Your Opinion is Wrong Forever
Sam Raimi directs movies with the urgency of a sloth meditating 🐢. In the past 15 years, he’s blessed us…
Sam Raimi’s Latest Gore-Splattered Mid-Life Crisis Accidentally Funnier Than Evil Dead 4 Rumors
Oh look, it’s another cinematic masterpiece where you can FEEL Sam Raimi sweating onto the lens like a caffeinated gargoyle…
Holy Wordplay, Batman! DC Just Hired a Writer to Ruin Robin
Hold onto your cowls, DC fanboys, because the Bat-Signal is flashing twice and it’s strobing like a rave in Arkham…
GREAT WHITE’s MARK KENDALL Opens Up About His Stage Four Kidney Cancer Diagnosis: I Was Peeing ‘Actual Blood’ and Woke Up Looking Like a Crime Scene
Great White Shark Mark Kendall Battles Kidney Cancer With A Little Help From His Immune System And A Pen That…
Spare a Thought for the Minnesota State Senator Who Had to Witness the Unprecedented Horror of People Simply Feeling Fear After a Killing
Minneapolis Mayor Begs President Trump for Help as Liberal Policies Turn City into ‘Hellscape’ In a stunning admission of failure,…
Legendary Extreme Metal Drummer NICK BARKER: ‘I Hope To Get A New Kidney Sometime Later This Year, And Maybe A New Cymbal’
Brace yourselves, drumming degenerates, because the metal beat-keeper himself, Nick Barker, is currently locked in a death match with his…
CD Projekt Red Slaps The Shit Out Of The Only Person Still Playing Cyberpunk 2077, Modder Cries In VR
🎮 Oh No, Not Again! The Great VR Modder Meltdown of 2026 🎮 Hold onto your headsets, folks, because the…