Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: horror

Supreme Court Sides with Crybaby Families in Landmark “My Kid’s So Special” Case
Elephant Reads CNN

Supreme Court Sides with Crybaby Families in Landmark “My Kid’s So Special” Case

Big ElephantJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

Another day, another unanimous Supreme Court decision, probably orchestrated by the Deep State to lull us into a false sense…

Kilmar Abrego Garcia’s Lawyers Throw Shade, Demand Trump Admin Get a Timeout
Elephant Reads CNN

Kilmar Abrego Garcia’s Lawyers Throw Shade, Demand Trump Admin Get a Timeout

Big ElephantJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

Another day, another leftist conspiracy theory bites the dust! CNN is clutching its pearls because the Trump administration supposedly didn’t…

Lars Ulrich Dares to Turn Over Rocks (and Maybe Find a New Idea or Two with Metallica)
Breaking, Music News

Lars Ulrich Dares to Turn Over Rocks (and Maybe Find a New Idea or Two with Metallica)

Chord F. DiscordJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

So, Lars Ulrich, the intellectual powerhouse behind Metallica (allegedly), did another interview. This time with Variety, because, you know, they’re…

Oh, the Horror: “Puppy Mill” Unearths a Whopping 200 Fluffy Felons in Ocean County
Elephant Reads CNN

Oh, the Horror: “Puppy Mill” Unearths a Whopping 200 Fluffy Felons in Ocean County

Big ElephantJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Oh, the horror! Another day, another leftist sanctuary turning into a cesspool. Seems like these “animal lovers” were too busy…

Lexington’s Downtown Gets a Grip: Road Closures and Detours for a Parade (Yes, Another One)
Elephant Reads CNN

Lexington’s Downtown Gets a Grip: Road Closures and Detours for a Parade (Yes, Another One)

Big ElephantJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Oh, the horror! Lexington, SC, is shutting down for a Christmas parade! Can you believe the woke mob is letting…

Resident Evil: Requiem Preview – Because Apparently Zombies Weren’t Embarrassing Enough
Breaking, Games News

Resident Evil: Requiem Preview – Because Apparently Zombies Weren’t Embarrassing Enough

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Capcom, bless their cotton socks, thinks they’re pushing boundaries again with Resident Evil Requiem. 🙄 After a whole THIRTY minutes…

ORBIT CULTURE Announces New Album ‘Death Above Life’ (Because Apparently Life Wasn’t Depressing Enough), Shares Video For
Breaking, Music News

ORBIT CULTURE Announces New Album ‘Death Above Life’ (Because Apparently Life Wasn’t Depressing Enough), Shares Video For

Chord F. DiscordJune 10, 2025June 12, 2025

Oh, great. More metal. 🙄 Sweden’s very own ORBIT CULTURE (never heard of ’em) are gracing us with a new…

Ice Nine Kills’ Spencer Charnas: We Succeeded When We Stopped Caring What You Plebs Thought
Breaking, Music News

Ice Nine Kills’ Spencer Charnas: We Succeeded When We Stopped Caring What You Plebs Thought

Chord F. DiscordJune 9, 2025June 9, 2025

ICE NINE KILLS (more like ICE NINE CHILLS, amirite? 😂) frontman Spencer Charnas (who?) is gracing us with his presence…

Cristina Scabbia’s So-Called 53rd Birthday Bash: Sharon den Adel & Simone Simons Show Up (Are They Lost?)
Breaking, Music News

Cristina Scabbia’s So-Called 53rd Birthday Bash: Sharon den Adel & Simone Simons Show Up (Are They Lost?)

Chord F. DiscordJune 9, 2025June 9, 2025

LACUNA COIL, still kicking around, apparently played a gig at Metalfest in Plzeň, Czech Republic, on Friday (June 6). Now,…

LITA FORD: Still Milking That One Hit, Apparently
Breaking

LITA FORD: Still Milking That One Hit, Apparently

Chord F. DiscordJune 8, 2025June 8, 2025

In a recent interview with The Horror Nerd (because who else would be interviewing her? 🤷‍♀️), 1980s hard rock queen…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 74 75 76 … 81 Next

Latest posts

  • Waylon Reavis (A Killer’s Confession) unfiltered: serial killers, death penalty & cancel culture
  • Stevie Wonder Battles Ex-Fiancée Over 38 Year Free Rent
  • Because Having Endless Choices Is Apparently A Curse
  • Cancer Throws Iowa Midterms Into Chaos Because Why Not
  • Debt Expert Offers Help Because Your Spouse Clearly Needs It

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.