Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: horror

EVA UNDER FIRE Unleashes ‘Murder Scene’ – Because Why Write a Love Song When You Can Write a Crime Scene?
Breaking, Music News

EVA UNDER FIRE Unleashes ‘Murder Scene’ – Because Why Write a Love Song When You Can Write a Crime Scene?

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 6, 2026February 6, 2026

Oh look, another band with more drama than a reality TV show—EVA UNDER FIRE is here to remind us that…

“Teachers Beware: DSL Training Will Save You from the Horror of Real Education”
Events

“Teachers Beware: DSL Training Will Save You from the Horror of Real Education”

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 5, 2026

Prevent in Education DSL Training 🎓🚫 Tired of your school being *too* safe? Join this *thrilling* online session where you’ll…

‘What Cuba suffers is equivalent to war,’ says Deputy FM on U.S. oil blockade —because apparently, running out of gas is now a military-grade crisis
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

‘What Cuba suffers is equivalent to war,’ says Deputy FM on U.S. oil blockade —because apparently, running out of gas is now a military-grade crisis

Big ElephantFebruary 5, 2026February 4, 2026

Oh no, Cuba’s crying about oil again! Maybe they should’ve thought about that before embracing communism and making friends with…

SODOM’s TOM ANGELRIPPER Whines About U.S. Show Costs: ‘Guess We Can’t Afford Your Cheap Beer’
Breaking, Music News

SODOM’s TOM ANGELRIPPER Whines About U.S. Show Costs: ‘Guess We Can’t Afford Your Cheap Beer’

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 4, 2026February 4, 2026

Thomas “Angelripper” Such, the grizzled veteran of German thrash metal, has finally admitted what we all knew deep down: being…

Washington Post Orders Employees to Stay Home for Zoom Call About ‘Significant Actions’ – Because Nothing Says ‘Big News’ Like Sitting in Pajamas
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Washington Post Orders Employees to Stay Home for Zoom Call About ‘Significant Actions’ – Because Nothing Says ‘Big News’ Like Sitting in Pajamas

Big ElephantFebruary 4, 2026February 4, 2026

Oh no! The Washington Post is going under, and we’re all supposed to cry about it. Let’s take a moment…

Nintendo Switch 2’s Winter 2026 Lineup: Where Your Wallet Freezes and Your Sanity Melts
Attention, Switch 2 peasants! Here's why you'll still be gaming on potato mode
Breaking, Games News

Nintendo Switch 2’s Winter 2026 Lineup: Where Your Wallet Freezes and Your Sanity Melts

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 3, 2026February 3, 2026

Oh look, the Switch 2’s library is “expanding.” Groundbreaking. 🙄 While Sony and Microsoft fans are already 2 generations ahead,…

Watch: KITTIE’s Stand-In Bassist RACHEL GONZALES Steals the Show on ‘ShipRocked’ Cruise – Because Original Bassists Are So Last Year!
Breaking, Music News

Watch: KITTIE’s Stand-In Bassist RACHEL GONZALES Steals the Show on ‘ShipRocked’ Cruise – Because Original Bassists Are So Last Year!

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 2, 2026February 2, 2026

KITTIE Returns to ShipRocked, Bassist Bails for Family Drama! In a shocking twist that sent shockwaves through the cruise ship…

Stranger Things: Tales From ‘85 Drops First Teaser That Will Haunt Your Dreams (And Your WiFi)
Breaking, Movie News

Stranger Things: Tales From ‘85 Drops First Teaser That Will Haunt Your Dreams (And Your WiFi)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 2, 2026February 2, 2026

Netflix Unleashes Animated Stranger Things: Tales From ’85 — Because Clearly We Needed More Upside Down Drama Well, well, well…

Scream 7 Trailer: Ghostface Hears a Who… or Maybe Just a Classic Scream Queen
Breaking, Movie News

Scream 7 Trailer: Ghostface Hears a Who… or Maybe Just a Classic Scream Queen

FinnFebruary 2, 2026February 2, 2026

Well, look what crawled out of the 1990s like a VHS tape you forgot to rewind: Scream 7 is here,…

MINISTRY’s AL JOURGENSEN Stars In ‘Jesus Cop’—Because Who Needs Sermons When You’ve Got Industrial Riffs?
Breaking, Movie News, Music News

MINISTRY’s AL JOURGENSEN Stars In ‘Jesus Cop’—Because Who Needs Sermons When You’ve Got Industrial Riffs?

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 31, 2026January 31, 2026

Move over, Marvel — Jesus Cop is here to save the world with blood, blasphemy, and probably a flamethrower Oh,…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 7 8 9 … 63 Next

Latest posts

  • Tekken 8 Now Ruined by Yujiro Hanma from Baki Because Who Needs Actual Tekken Characters Anyway and Also Harada Still Can’t Get Over His Waffle House Trauma
  • SEVENDUST’s LAJON WITHERSPOON Reveals Shocking Truth: We’re All Just A Bunch Of Equally Important Dudes With Beards And Guitar Riffs Who Can’t Decide On Anything
  • Simplification des Réglementations et de la Fiscalité pour les Gens qui Aiment se Faire Mal au Cerveau avec des Tas de Papierasserie
  • Dying Fetus at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/24/2026, Day 4)
  • Cephalic Carnage at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/24/2026, Day 4)

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
May 2026
S M T W T F S
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31  
« Apr    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}