SODOM’s TOM ANGELRIPPER Whines About U.S. Show Costs: ‘Guess We Can’t Afford Your Cheap Beer’
Thomas “Angelripper” Such, the grizzled veteran of German thrash metal, has finally admitted what we all knew deep down: being…
Tag: horror
Washington Post Orders Employees to Stay Home for Zoom Call About ‘Significant Actions’ – Because Nothing Says ‘Big News’ Like Sitting in Pajamas
Oh no! The Washington Post is going under, and we’re all supposed to cry about it. Let’s take a moment…
Nintendo Switch 2’s Winter 2026 Lineup: Where Your Wallet Freezes and Your Sanity Melts
Oh look, the Switch 2’s library is “expanding.” Groundbreaking. 🙄 While Sony and Microsoft fans are already 2 generations ahead,…
Watch: KITTIE’s Stand-In Bassist RACHEL GONZALES Steals the Show on ‘ShipRocked’ Cruise – Because Original Bassists Are So Last Year!
KITTIE Returns to ShipRocked, Bassist Bails for Family Drama! In a shocking twist that sent shockwaves through the cruise ship…
Stranger Things: Tales From ‘85 Drops First Teaser That Will Haunt Your Dreams (And Your WiFi)
Netflix Unleashes Animated Stranger Things: Tales From ’85 — Because Clearly We Needed More Upside Down Drama Well, well, well…
Scream 7 Trailer: Ghostface Hears a Who… or Maybe Just a Classic Scream Queen
Well, look what crawled out of the 1990s like a VHS tape you forgot to rewind: Scream 7 is here,…
MINISTRY’s AL JOURGENSEN Stars In ‘Jesus Cop’—Because Who Needs Sermons When You’ve Got Industrial Riffs?
Move over, Marvel — Jesus Cop is here to save the world with blood, blasphemy, and probably a flamethrower Oh,…
“Breaking: Don Lemon Finally Cuffed – CNN’s Own Anchor Arrested in Shocking Twist!”
Oh no, poor Don Lemon—the radical leftist “journalist” who suddenly found himself in handcuffs after allegedly inciting chaos at a…
Future You Already Regrets Watching: Your Dying DVD Player’s Clickbait Roundup – Bruce Springsteen Yells at Clouds: The Movie, House Party: Grandpa’s ‘Lit’ Reboot, Altered: Somehow More Depressing Than Monday, King of Beggars: Oscar Bait So Thirsty It’ll Tow Your Car, Plus 37 Other Things You’ll Instantly Forget
Hold onto your dusty VHS tapes, cinephiles! 🎬 This week’s home video releases are like a bargain bin at a…
The Definitive (And Only) Ranking of Sam Raimi’s Most Bonkers Creations Because Your Opinion is Wrong Forever
Sam Raimi directs movies with the urgency of a sloth meditating 🐢. In the past 15 years, he’s blessed us…