Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Hours

How to Stop Watching Cat Videos and Actually Do Something Useful (Maybe)
Live

How to Stop Watching Cat Videos and Actually Do Something Useful (Maybe)

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 21, 2025

🔥 BREAKING: Procrastinators Unite… Tomorrow! (Or Maybe Next Week) 🔥 Join our *totally not last-minute* webinar: “Stop Delaying Your Life…

Confidence Hacks: How to Fake It Till You Make It (and Blame Your Parents)
Live

Confidence Hacks: How to Fake It Till You Make It (and Blame Your Parents)

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 21, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Local Therapist Discovers That People With Low Self-Esteem Don’t Think They’re Sexy Enough 🚨 In a stunning revelation…

Behemoth’s Nergal Absolutely Goes Full Santa Mode, Claims Christmas Is Just About Presents and Zero Holy Stuff
Breaking, Music News

Behemoth’s Nergal Absolutely Goes Full Santa Mode, Claims Christmas Is Just About Presents and Zero Holy Stuff

Chord F. DiscordDecember 20, 2025December 20, 2025

Breaking: Satanist Nergal Celebrates Christmas Like a Normal Person, Immediately Regrets It on Podcast 🎄😈 In a shocking turn of…

KISS Legend PETER CRISS Sells Autographs Like a Used Car Salesman at NYC’s Hipster Petting Zoo
Breaking, Games News

KISS Legend PETER CRISS Sells Autographs Like a Used Car Salesman at NYC’s Hipster Petting Zoo

Chord F. DiscordDecember 20, 2025December 20, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Peter Criss Releases New Album, Proves That Time Is Just A Social Construct For Rock Gods 🚨 In…

When the Real Test Is Staying Awake During OCN NI Invigilator Training
Live

When the Real Test Is Staying Awake During OCN NI Invigilator Training

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 20, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: OCN NI Forces Innocent Souls Into Mandatory “Assessment Training” or Face £15 Fine (That’s Like, 3 Coffees!) 🚨…

CRL: Culturally Responsive Leadership (NSCC C)
Live

CRL: Culturally Responsive Leadership (NSCC C)

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 19, 2025

🚨BREAKING: Adults Required to Attend Zoom Meeting About Being Less Clueless in Daycare! 🚨 In a bold move to combat…

Former Classmates Recall the Brown Shooter as a Genius-level Jerk We All Couldn’t Stand
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Former Classmates Recall the Brown Shooter as a Genius-level Jerk We All Couldn’t Stand

Big ElephantDecember 19, 2025December 19, 2025

Leftist Ivy League Brainiac Snaps After Years of Being Forced to Pretend His Marxist Professors Were Smart Another day, another…

Most Anticipated Games of 2026 (Hopefully They Won’t Release Them in 2027)
Breaking, Games News

Most Anticipated Games of 2026 (Hopefully They Won’t Release Them in 2027)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 19, 2025December 19, 2025

The gaming industry is still breathing, folks! Shocking, right? After a year where we collectively lost our minds over sequels…

Listen: METALLICA’s JAMES HETFIELD Drops Heavy Metal Ornaments on ‘A Visit From St. Nicholas’
Breaking, Music News

Listen: METALLICA’s JAMES HETFIELD Drops Heavy Metal Ornaments on ‘A Visit From St. Nicholas’

Chord F. DiscordDecember 19, 2025December 19, 2025

James Hetfield vs. Santa Claus: The Epic Battle for Christmas Supremacy Begins Now (Spoiler: He Wins) 🎸🎅 In a move…

Behavior Has Meaning: Because Your Kid’s Tantrums Are Actually Cryptic Messages
Live

Behavior Has Meaning: Because Your Kid’s Tantrums Are Actually Cryptic Messages

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 18, 2025

THIS IS A LIVE ONLINE WEBINAR Total Hours: 2.0 Examine why children do what they do. Practice ways to determine…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 35 36 37 … 41 Next

Latest posts

  • Kamala Harris’ Home Security Actually Works For Once
  • Trump Administration’s Brilliant FEMA Firings Deemed Totally Not Legal
  • Celine Dion Returns to Stage in Paris After Six Years
  • Spin of the Day: Slate Pears Game 394: Sept. 12, 2026 — 87% Journalism Not Found
  • Hegseth desperately tries to make Iran rescue sound exciting

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.