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Trump Touts Mysteriously Affordable Gas Stations To The Delighted Public
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Touts Mysteriously Affordable Gas Stations To The Delighted Public

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. President Donald Trump is touting a new chain of gas stations…

DOJ Keeps Epstein’s Ranch Secrets Under Wraps
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

DOJ Keeps Epstein’s Ranch Secrets Under Wraps

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. New Mexico Attorney General Raúl Torrez is going after the US…

Id Software had genius ideas before corporate geniuses laid them off obviously
Breaking, Games News

Id Software had genius ideas before corporate geniuses laid them off obviously

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 9, 2026July 9, 2026

Because apparently we haven’t milked this franchise enough yet, id Software was working on some new projects before the latest…

Missing person case becomes conveniently timed video game plot twist somehow
Breaking, Games News

Missing person case becomes conveniently timed video game plot twist somehow

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 9, 2026July 9, 2026

Oh joy, another investigative game to add to the never-ending pile of “find the missing person” titles, because apparently, we…

Trump Asks Supreme Court For Mulligan Because Why Not
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Asks Supreme Court For Mulligan Because Why Not

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. President Trump is at it again, trying to get the Supreme…

Because We Needed Another Apex Legends Crossover Obviously
Breaking, Games News

Because We Needed Another Apex Legends Crossover Obviously

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 9, 2026July 9, 2026

Because apparently we haven’t milked this franchise enough yet, EA and Respawn Entertainment are teaming up with CD PROJEKT RED…

Jon Bon Jovi sells soul to tech bros for MSG hologram cash grab
Breaking, Music News

Jon Bon Jovi sells soul to tech bros for MSG hologram cash grab

Chord F. DiscordJuly 9, 2026July 9, 2026

Because what the world really needed was a hologram of Jon Bon Jovi, Superfan.Live has debuted the Jon Bon Jovi…

Nick Barker Gets Mysterious Disease Because His Music Wasnt Aggressive Enough
Breaking, Music News

Nick Barker Gets Mysterious Disease Because His Music Wasnt Aggressive Enough

Chord F. DiscordJuly 9, 2026July 9, 2026

I just spilled my beer all over my favorite black metal t-shirt, and it’s not even like I’m surprised. I…

Because You Clearly Need Another Classic Pop Fix Now
Breaking, Music News

Because You Clearly Need Another Classic Pop Fix Now

Chord F. DiscordJuly 9, 2026July 9, 2026

In the latest issue of Classic Pop, it’s like the music industry is throwing a big ol’ party and everyone’s…

Canoeist David Hearn Denies Messing Up Pool Again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Canoeist David Hearn Denies Messing Up Pool Again

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Former Olympic canoeist David Hearn pleaded not guilty in Washington, DC,…

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