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Events

FRDG Lecture: How to Build Homes That Won’t Fall Apart Faster Than Your Ex’s New Relationship

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 20, 2026

Attention architects! Another webinar to save the world! 🙄 Join us for “Designing Buildings That Last Longer Than Your Marriage”…

Top 5 New Thrash Bands Formed After 2015
Videos

Top 5 New Thrash Bands Formed After 2015

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 19, 2026

Thrash isn’t dead — it just found new blood. These bands were formed after 2015 and sound like thrash still…

ARCH ENEMY Snags Ex-ONCE HUMAN Vocalist LAUREN HART, Unleashes ‘To The Last Breath’ – Prepare Your Eardrums!
ARCH ENEMY Just Dropped a New Singer and a New Song, and Fans Are Absolutely Shook
Breaking, Music News

ARCH ENEMY Snags Ex-ONCE HUMAN Vocalist LAUREN HART, Unleashes ‘To The Last Breath’ – Prepare Your Eardrums!

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 19, 2026February 19, 2026

Move over, Alissa White-Gluz — there’s a new scream queen in town. Swedish/American extreme metal overlords ARCH ENEMY have officially…

Pokémon TCG Pocket Unleashes New Booster Pack And 4 In-Game Events Because Why Stop At Just One
Breaking, Games News

Pokémon TCG Pocket Unleashes New Booster Pack And 4 In-Game Events Because Why Stop At Just One

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 19, 2026February 19, 2026

Oh look, The Pokémon Company just dropped a bombshell: more cards! Yes, folks, the world collectively holds its breath as…

Toy Story 5 Trailer: Plastic Playthings Prepare to Throw Down Against Silicon Valley’s Shiny Gadgets — Let the Glitchy Games Begin!
Breaking, Movie News

Toy Story 5 Trailer: Plastic Playthings Prepare to Throw Down Against Silicon Valley’s Shiny Gadgets — Let the Glitchy Games Begin!

FinnFebruary 19, 2026February 19, 2026

Oh, great, another Toy Story movie. Because we definitely needed Woody to go through yet another existential crisis over a…

Trump’s White House Ballroom: Where the Only Fast-Track Is the Dance Floor, Not the Constitution!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s White House Ballroom: Where the Only Fast-Track Is the Dance Floor, Not the Constitution!

Big ElephantFebruary 19, 2026February 19, 2026

Trump’s East Wing Ballroom Plan Zooms Past Bureaucratic Bullcrap The Deep State’s “independent” art committee just rubber-stamped President Trump’s East…

Apple’s iCloud: The Secret Playground for Inappropriate Content, Says West Virginia AG | CNN Business
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Apple’s iCloud: The Secret Playground for Inappropriate Content, Says West Virginia AG | CNN Business

Big ElephantFebruary 19, 2026February 19, 2026

Big Tech Giant Apple Sued for Protecting Predators Over Kids—Where’s the Outrage? In yet another shocking example of woke corporate…

Lee Cronin’s The Mummy Unleashes a New Trailer, Because Apparently We Needed More Bandages in Our Lives
Breaking, Movie News

Lee Cronin’s The Mummy Unleashes a New Trailer, Because Apparently We Needed More Bandages in Our Lives

FinnFebruary 19, 2026February 19, 2026

Oh great, another horror director who’s clearly run out of original ideas just resurrected a classic story that already had…

“The Gates: Mason Gooding, Algee Smith, Keith Powers, and James Van Der Beek Team Up for a Thriller That’s Either Genius or a Trainwreck—Place Your Bets Now!”
Breaking, Movie News

“The Gates: Mason Gooding, Algee Smith, Keith Powers, and James Van Der Beek Team Up for a Thriller That’s Either Genius or a Trainwreck—Place Your Bets Now!”

FinnFebruary 19, 2026February 19, 2026

Oh look, another gated community thriller because Hollywood hasn’t beaten that dead horse enough yet 🐴💀 So apparently someone greenlit…

FOO FIGHTERS Announce New Album ‘Your Favorite Toy’, Drop Title Track That’s Probably Better Than Your Childhood Teddy Bear
Breaking, Music News

FOO FIGHTERS Announce New Album ‘Your Favorite Toy’, Drop Title Track That’s Probably Better Than Your Childhood Teddy Bear

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 19, 2026February 19, 2026

FOO FIGHTERS Drop New Single That’s Basically Your Ex’s Revenge Playlist Well, well, well—if it isn’t Dave Grohl and the…

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Latest posts

  • Get Ready for the Most Epic Alien Invasion Film Ever Because Steven Spielberg is Finally Going to Reveal the Truth About Earrings and Fashion Disasters from the 80s in Disclosure Day
  • Fake news ABC whines about Trump’s FCC crushing liberal broadcast thugs
  • Buckethead in Charlotte, NC (05/28/2026)
  • Get Ready for the Most Epic R&B Party on a Rooftop That Will Probably End with a Noise Complaint and a Visit from the Police
  • OH JOY Another Has Been from the 80s is Desperately Trying to be Relevant Again with Their Super Original Sounding Solo Album Called Dirty Foot Lane Wow What a Unique Title

Editorial
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Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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