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5 Things to Know for Feb. 19: Prince Andrew’s Drama, Peace Board’s Big Plans, Iran’s Shenanigans, Social Media’s Kangaroo Court, and California’s Snowy Surprise
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things to Know for Feb. 19: Prince Andrew’s Drama, Peace Board’s Big Plans, Iran’s Shenanigans, Social Media’s Kangaroo Court, and California’s Snowy Surprise

Big ElephantFebruary 19, 2026February 19, 2026

Donald Trump Calls CNN “Fake News” as Royal Prince and AI Trial Dominate Headlines In a stunning day of news,…

“Death’s New BFF: Psychedelics Crash the Funeral Party – Free Admission!”
Events

“Death’s New BFF: Psychedelics Crash the Funeral Party – Free Admission!”

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 18, 2026

Psychedelic support at the end of life is evolving quickly as it continues to demonstrate the capacity to ease the…

FCC’s ‘Equal Time’ Letter to ABC: The Secret Weapon That Made CBS Cry Uncle Over Colbert’s Jokes
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

FCC’s ‘Equal Time’ Letter to ABC: The Secret Weapon That Made CBS Cry Uncle Over Colbert’s Jokes

Big ElephantFebruary 18, 2026February 18, 2026

Liberal Media Meltdown: FCC’s Equal Time Rules Spark Censorship Hysteria In a shocking display of cowardice, CBS lawyers apparently soiled…

U.S. Soccer Star Weston McKennie Bravely Prepares to Dominate World Cup on Home Turf—Because Who Needs International Competition Anyway?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

U.S. Soccer Star Weston McKennie Bravely Prepares to Dominate World Cup on Home Turf—Because Who Needs International Competition Anyway?

Big ElephantFebruary 18, 2026February 18, 2026

Well, Well, Well—Look Who’s Dribbling Their Way to Another Global Stage! Looks like U.S. soccer “star” Weston McKennie is gearing…

A New The Mandalorian and Grogu Trailer Has Fans Fired Up & An Alien Director Cameo (or Is That Just Another Tuesday in the Galaxy?)
Breaking, Movie News

A New The Mandalorian and Grogu Trailer Has Fans Fired Up & An Alien Director Cameo (or Is That Just Another Tuesday in the Galaxy?)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 18, 2026February 18, 2026

Oh no, not another Star Wars trailer! Just when you thought the galaxy far, far away couldn’t get any more…

MUSHROOMHEAD And FEAR FACTORY Announce Fall 2026 U.S. Co-Headlining Tour: Prepare for a Symphony of Industrial Growls and Mask-Clad Chaos
Breaking, Events, Music News

MUSHROOMHEAD And FEAR FACTORY Announce Fall 2026 U.S. Co-Headlining Tour: Prepare for a Symphony of Industrial Growls and Mask-Clad Chaos

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 18, 2026February 18, 2026

Attention, metalheads and mask enthusiasts! Prepare your face paint and earplugs, because the “Soul Of A New War Machine” tour…

EXODUS Unleashes ‘Goliath’ Title Track Music Video – Because the World Needed More Epic Biblical References
EXODUS Announces "Goliath" Album, Fans Prepare for Mosh Pit Retirement
Breaking, Music News

EXODUS Unleashes ‘Goliath’ Title Track Music Video – Because the World Needed More Epic Biblical References

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 18, 2026February 18, 2026

The Bay Area thrash titans EXODUS have finally unveiled their twelfth studio album, “Goliath,” scheduled for release on March 20,…

Hands-On With Notable Humans — Because Your Life Needs More Celebrity Handshakes and Rhythmic High-Fives
Hands-On With People Of Note—Feel The Rhythm
Breaking, Games News

Hands-On With Notable Humans — Because Your Life Needs More Celebrity Handshakes and Rhythmic High-Fives

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 18, 2026February 18, 2026

It was pretty obvious that I would be interested in People of Note. Much like Devolver Digital, I’ve long championed…

Watch the Batman Begins Cast Make Goofy Noises for the Video Game While Wearing Pajamas
Why the Batman Begins Game Didn't Save the World
Breaking, Games News

Watch the Batman Begins Cast Make Goofy Noises for the Video Game While Wearing Pajamas

FinnFebruary 18, 2026February 18, 2026

In the annals of Batman video game history, one truth reigns supreme: the Arkham series is the Dark Knight of…

REPLACED is Delayed Again, Only A Month Away From Launch: The Game That’s Perfecting the Art of Being Late
Oh look, another indie darling just can't seem to hit its own deadline. SURPRISE!
Breaking, Games News

REPLACED is Delayed Again, Only A Month Away From Launch: The Game That’s Perfecting the Art of Being Late

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 18, 2026February 18, 2026

Well, well, well… if it isn’t REPLACED, the cyberpunk pixel-art baby that just refuses to leave the oven. Sad Cat…

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Latest posts

  • The Witcher 3 Is Getting One Last Surprise Expansion Because You Clearly Didn’t Spend Enough Hours of Your Life Playing It Already and Geralt Is Coming Back to Ruin Your Social Life Again
  • Become a Semi Competent Leader in 3 Easy Steps Learn to Stop Freaking Out and Maybe Possibly Adapt to Change
  • Because What Every Community Needs is More Bureaucratic Red Tape to Really Give Them Some Actual Power Over Their Own Lives
  • Get Ready for the Most Epic Traffic Jam of the Year at 2026 FuelFest Bay Area
  • Because Hackers Love Homework Too Let’s Strengthen K-12 Cybersecurity Already

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Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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