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Financial Glow-Up: Because Getting Rich Slowly is Apparently a Workshop Now
Events

Financial Glow-Up: Because Getting Rich Slowly is Apparently a Workshop Now

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 12, 2026

🚨 FREE LIVE WORKSHOP ALERT 🚨 Discover how to invest and build your wealth like a pro (or at least…

When Uncle Sam Plays Pirate: The Day America Hijacks an Oil Tanker and Pretends It’s Legal
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

When Uncle Sam Plays Pirate: The Day America Hijacks an Oil Tanker and Pretends It’s Legal

Big ElephantJanuary 12, 2026January 12, 2026

Trump’s Great Venezuelan Oil Heist: When Leftist Tankers Meet Right-Wing Freedom In a stunning display of American might that would…

Trump considers sending in the cavalry to teach Iran a lesson in geopolitics
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump considers sending in the cavalry to teach Iran a lesson in geopolitics

Big ElephantJanuary 12, 2026January 12, 2026

Trump Mulls Nuking Iran Over Protests – Because That’s How Freedom Works In a stunning turn of events that absolutely…

Might be top 10 videos of all time
Videos

Might be top 10 videos of all time

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 12, 2026

It’s that when you remove an animal from it’s natural habitat Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the…

The Best New TV Shows on Streaming This Weekend (That Will Probably Suck But Here We Are)
Breaking, Movie News

The Best New TV Shows on Streaming This Weekend (That Will Probably Suck But Here We Are)

FinnJanuary 12, 2026January 12, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Your Couch Just Got a Promotion! 🍿 New Shows Are Here to Haunt Your Binge-Watching Soul (and Your…

Trump officials spot fraud in their morning coffee, everywhere they look—here’s the wild truth
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump officials spot fraud in their morning coffee, everywhere they look—here’s the wild truth

Big ElephantJanuary 12, 2026January 12, 2026

Trump Admin Declares War on Government Waste After TikTok Star Exposes Massive Fraud in Minnesota Daycare Scandal In what can…

Bob Weir of Grateful Dead Finally Gives Up the Ghost at 78
Breaking, Music News

Bob Weir of Grateful Dead Finally Gives Up the Ghost at 78

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 12, 2026January 12, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Bobby Weir Finally Checks Out After 78 Years of Confusing Audiences With That One Chord 🚨 In a…

VIO-LENCE Is Covering Punk So They Can Procrastinate Writing Real Songs—Killian Says He’s Not In A Hurry To Be Relevant
Breaking, Music News

VIO-LENCE Is Covering Punk So They Can Procrastinate Writing Real Songs—Killian Says He’s Not In A Hurry To Be Relevant

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 12, 2026January 12, 2026

🎸🔥 In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming (except everyone with an internet connection), VIO-LENCE…

GOP Sen. Mullin Claims ICE Shooting Was Just a Misunderstanding—Says ‘Everyone Was Just Really Nervous’
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Sen. Mullin Claims ICE Shooting Was Just a Misunderstanding—Says ‘Everyone Was Just Really Nervous’

Big ElephantJanuary 12, 2026January 12, 2026

Democrats and Fake News Cry Havoc Over ICE Shooting While Ignoring Real Border Crisis In a stunning display of hypocrisy…

The US is taking over Venezuela and eyeing Greenland like a real estate flip show — and somehow the Dow is still dreaming of 50k
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

The US is taking over Venezuela and eyeing Greenland like a real estate flip show — and somehow the Dow is still dreaming of 50k

Big ElephantJanuary 12, 2026January 12, 2026

Dow Hits 50K Amid Chaos: Trump’s Venezuela Victory, Greenland Threat & Ice Moms Spark Stock Market Orgy In a stunning…

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Latest posts

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  • Oh Great Another Re-release of the Same Old Wolf Girl Movies to Suck More Money Out of Your Wallet The Ginger Snaps Trilogy – Because You Clearly Need to Buy it Again in Standard Edition Blu-ray
  • Sony Days of Play 2026 Because You Clearly Didn’t Spend Enough Money on PlayStation Stuff Already and Now We’re Going to Take All Your Money with Discounts on PS5 Accessories VR
  • Flooded Laos cave, who cares, not America’s problem anyway
  • LibERAL SNOWFLAKES whine about Trump’s perfectly justified Nespotjustice

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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