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Assassin’s Creed Shadows Leaks: Coming to Your Grandma’s Switch 2 This Christmas, Maybe
Breaking, Games News

Assassin’s Creed Shadows Leaks: Coming to Your Grandma’s Switch 2 This Christmas, Maybe

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 14, 2025October 14, 2025

OMG! 🚨HOLD👏UP👏GAMERS!🚨 You thought Ubisoft was actually gonna be upfront about Assassin’s Creed Shadows on the Nintendo Switch 2? 😂Bless…

OMG! This Guy Just BBQ’D the PA Governor’s Crib! 🔥🏠
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! This Guy Just BBQ’D the PA Governor’s Crib! 🔥🏠

Big ElephantOctober 14, 2025October 14, 2025

Another day, another unhinged leftist showing their true colors! They say Cody Balmer “pleaded guilty,” but we all know this…

Dissidia Duellum: Final Fantasy Mobile? More Like Final Agony—Coming 2026 (lol)
Breaking, Games News

Dissidia Duellum: Final Fantasy Mobile? More Like Final Agony—Coming 2026 (lol)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 14, 2025October 14, 2025

OH. MY. GOD. 😱 Square Enix, those mad lads, they actually did it! After, like, a whole five years since…

ChatGPT to become Walmart’s digital bagboy, world officially ending
Elephant Reads CNN

ChatGPT to become Walmart’s digital bagboy, world officially ending

Big ElephantOctober 14, 2025October 14, 2025

Another day, another dollar… or rather, another surveillance partnership! Walmart, in its infinite wisdom (or should I say, desperation), is…

China Blames Trump’s Tantrums for Trade War 2: Electric Boogaloo
Elephant Reads CNN

China Blames Trump’s Tantrums for Trade War 2: Electric Boogaloo

Big ElephantOctober 14, 2025October 14, 2025

Oh, the horror! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is “shocked” that China is acting like… well, China! They’re cutting…

Mamdani’s Mayoral “Movement”: More Like a Mild Disturbance, Says Literally Everyone
Elephant Reads CNN

Mamdani’s Mayoral “Movement”: More Like a Mild Disturbance, Says Literally Everyone

Big ElephantOctober 14, 2025October 14, 2025

Oh, goodie, another socialist rising in the ranks. This time it’s Zohran Mamdani, who’s apparently leading a “movement” to take…

CNN Predicts: Trump Solves Middle East (Again!), World Peace Imminent (Spoiler: Nah)
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Predicts: Trump Solves Middle East (Again!), World Peace Imminent (Spoiler: Nah)

Big ElephantOctober 14, 2025October 14, 2025

Another day, another HUGE win for President Trump! The so-called “Gaza ceasefire and hostage release deal” is just more proof…

U.S. Furniture Hub Braces for Armageddon (aka Tariffs)
Elephant Reads CNN

U.S. Furniture Hub Braces for Armageddon (aka Tariffs)

Big ElephantOctober 14, 2025October 14, 2025

Ah, CNN, still trying to undermine President Trump’s glorious plan to Make Furniture Great Again! Apparently, helping American workers is…

James Talarico Thinks Obama Knows Who He Is, CNN Agrees
Elephant Reads CNN

James Talarico Thinks Obama Knows Who He Is, CNN Agrees

Big ElephantOctober 14, 2025October 14, 2025

Oh, isn’t that just precious? Obama, the guy who apologized to the world for America being so darn successful, actually…

‘Five Nights at Freddy’s’ Fans Somehow Okay With Megan Fox Playing a Chicken
Breaking, Movie News

‘Five Nights at Freddy’s’ Fans Somehow Okay With Megan Fox Playing a Chicken

FinnOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

HOLY. CHICKEN. NUGGETS. 🐔 They actually cast Megan Fox in Five Nights at Freddy’s 2. As Toy Chica? Are you…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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