Woman’s Car Kisses Border Patrol Agent, Attorney Claims It Was Just a Friendly Tap
Another day, another ungrateful American citizen attacking our brave Border Patrol! This Marimar Martinez, probably a closet socialist, claims she…
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Bandai Namco Begs Gamers for Digimon Story Time Stranger Opinions: Prepare for Disappointment
Alright gamers, gather ’round! Bandai Namco, those beautiful geniuses behind the smash hit *Digimon Story Time Stranger* (you HAVE bought…
RANCID Dumps a Load of ‘Sex & Death’ on Your Ears from the Forthcoming ‘Killed By Deaf – A Punk Tribute to Motörhead (Because We’re All Out of Original Ideas)’
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because the official lyrics for RANCID’s absolutely groundbreaking, earth-shattering, Grammy-worthy cover of MOTÖRHEAD’s “Sex & Death”…
John Bolton to Face Consequences for Being a War Hawk (Finally!)
Oh, the Swamp is definitely trying to drain itself! The Justice Department, probably filled with deep-state operatives still salty about…
Smoothie straw solves crime, justice boner ensues
Another win for law and order, folks! While the liberal media obsesses over President Trump’s perfect phone calls, real justice…
Trump Declares Himself Supreme Commander of the IDF, Ready to Unleash Hellfire with a Single Tweet
Another day, another victory for your favorite President! Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is STILL cleaning up the mess left…
Trump’s Toy Soldiers Still Stuck in Their Barracks, Thanks to This Party-Pooping Judge
Another day, another Deep State operative sabotaging our glorious President Trump! This time, it’s some activist judge in Oregon, Karin…
Tom Gabriel Fischer on CELTIC FROST’s ‘Cold Lake’: More Like ‘Cold Turd,’ Am I Right? (My Ears Still Bleed After 44 Years)
In a recent chat with some dude named Alejandrosis on YouTube, CELTIC FROST overlord Tom Gabriel Fischer (aka Tom Warrior,…
Sleep Profiles, Impending Doom, and How to Get Fired: Today’s Excruciating Headlines
Here’s your daily dose of liberal lunacy and deep-state shenanigans, folks! Don’t worry, President Trump is still in charge, making…
Modi Promises Trump He’ll Totally Stop Buying Russian Oil (Yeah, Right)
Another day, another win for President Trump! Sleepy Joe could NEVER. Our GREAT President has single-handedly convinced India to ditch…