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Loser Sherrod Brown tries to steal Senate for Dem losers
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Loser Sherrod Brown tries to steal Senate for Dem losers

Big ElephantMay 17, 2026May 17, 2026

It’s absolutely hilarious that the fake news media is still trying to peddle their pathetic narrative about the so-called “importance”…

APOCALYPTICA’s EICCA TOPPINEN Loses All Credibility By Claiming METALLICA’s ‘St Anger’ Is Actually Listenable
Breaking News: Eicca Toppinen of Apocalyptica Thinks St. Anger is a Great Album, and We're All Just Wrong 🤯
Breaking, Music News

APOCALYPTICA’s EICCA TOPPINEN Loses All Credibility By Claiming METALLICA’s ‘St Anger’ Is Actually Listenable

Chord F. DiscordMay 16, 2026May 16, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, Eicca Toppinen, the cellist from Apocalyptica, has come out and said that Metallica’s infamous…

The Most Epic and Life Changing ‘Mandalorian and Grogu’ Reviews Just Dropped and Your Mind Will Be Blown Forever
Breaking, Movie News

The Most Epic and Life Changing ‘Mandalorian and Grogu’ Reviews Just Dropped and Your Mind Will Be Blown Forever

FinnMay 16, 2026May 16, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some epic news? 🚀👽 For the first time in seven years, there’s a…

EVE FanFest 2026: Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough Space Drama In Your Life, EVE Frontier’s Cycle 6 Is Coming To Ruin Your Social Life On June 25
Breaking, Events, Games News

EVE FanFest 2026: Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough Space Drama In Your Life, EVE Frontier’s Cycle 6 Is Coming To Ruin Your Social Life On June 25

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 16, 2026May 16, 2026

EVE Frontier, the game that will make you question your life choices and wonder why you’re still playing at 3…

Breaking News: Mats Levén Sings Entire Album Without Falling Asleep Because Let’s Be Real Yngwie’s Music Can Be Pretty Snooze Inducing
Breaking, Music News

Breaking News: Mats Levén Sings Entire Album Without Falling Asleep Because Let’s Be Real Yngwie’s Music Can Be Pretty Snooze Inducing

Chord F. DiscordMay 16, 2026May 16, 2026

Breaking news: Mats Levén is a total rockstar and we’re not biased at all 🤘💥! He just played two epic…

It should be an international crime to have rubbish pile up like this
Videos

It should be an international crime to have rubbish pile up like this

Chuck B. BallsyMay 16, 2026

Gretaaaaa!

Overrated British bands still trying to be American rockstars somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Overrated British bands still trying to be American rockstars somehow

Big ElephantMay 16, 2026May 16, 2026

The so-called “experts” and “fact-checkers” are at it again, trying to undermine the greatest president this country has ever seen,…

Liberal ladies somehow manage to share single valedictorian title
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal ladies somehow manage to share single valedictorian title

Big ElephantMay 16, 2026May 16, 2026

It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to report that our great nation is still standing, despite…

Oh great, another liberal airline fails America again somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oh great, another liberal airline fails America again somehow

Big ElephantMay 16, 2026May 16, 2026

It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to report on the latest news with the utmost sarcasm…

Events

Autistic and Still Figuring It Out May Meet-Up Because Autism Isn’t a One Time Discovery

Chuck B. BallsyMay 16, 2026

Join Our Thriving Autistic Community Monthly Meet-up 🤝

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Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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