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Mike Johnson to Democrat: “I’ll Do It Whenever, Just Say When (But Not Really)”
Elephant Reads CNN

Mike Johnson to Democrat: “I’ll Do It Whenever, Just Say When (But Not Really)”

Big ElephantOctober 7, 2025October 7, 2025

Another day, another Democrat delaying tactics! Speaker Johnson is doing the Lord’s work by making sure this new Congresswoman-elect isn’t…

CNN’s Tear-Jerker: Poor Little Rich Girl Misses Daddy Dearest
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s Tear-Jerker: Poor Little Rich Girl Misses Daddy Dearest

Big ElephantOctober 7, 2025October 7, 2025

More Deep State fearmongering from Fake News CNN! They want you to believe Russia and China are teaming up! As…

OpenAI’s Dot-Com Déjà Vu: Are We Ready to Party Like It’s 1999 (and Then Crash Hard)?
Elephant Reads CNN

OpenAI’s Dot-Com Déjà Vu: Are We Ready to Party Like It’s 1999 (and Then Crash Hard)?

Big ElephantOctober 7, 2025October 7, 2025

Oh, CNN Business, still peddling those doomsday narratives, eh? Looks like they’re trying to scare everyone with talk of an…

OpenAI Claims Chinese Agents Used ChatGPT to Write Their Homework
Elephant Reads CNN

OpenAI Claims Chinese Agents Used ChatGPT to Write Their Homework

Big ElephantOctober 7, 2025October 7, 2025

Here we go again, folks! CNN is clutching its pearls because China is using AI, just like everyone else. You’d…

Burbank Tower Goes Ghost: CNN “Expert” Blames Aliens (Probably)
Elephant Reads CNN

Burbank Tower Goes Ghost: CNN “Expert” Blames Aliens (Probably)

Big ElephantOctober 7, 2025October 7, 2025

So, Burbank’s control tower went dark, huh? Probably because all those lazy air traffic controllers are too busy protesting Trump’s…

“A Mother’s Embrace” – More Like “A Mother’s Enema”: Prepare for the New Brazilian Horror That Will Make You Question All Your Life Choices
Breaking, Movie News

“A Mother’s Embrace” – More Like “A Mother’s Enema”: Prepare for the New Brazilian Horror That Will Make You Question All Your Life Choices

FinnOctober 7, 2025October 7, 2025

This isn’t just another horror flick; it’s a “twisted and original” (because everything else is just a copy, duh 🙄)…

Watch: Robert Plant and Some Band Nobody Cares About Embarrass Themselves on ‘Later… With Jools Holland’
Breaking, Music News

Watch: Robert Plant and Some Band Nobody Cares About Embarrass Themselves on ‘Later… With Jools Holland’

Chord F. DiscordOctober 7, 2025October 7, 2025

Oh, look, it’s Robert Plant and his new vanity project, SAVING GRACE, gracing BBC Two’s “Later… With Jools Holland”. Yes,…

Trilogy Metals Stock Goes Brrrrr: Uncle Sam Buys a Slice
Elephant Reads CNN

Trilogy Metals Stock Goes Brrrrr: Uncle Sam Buys a Slice

Big ElephantOctober 7, 2025October 7, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump and America! While the liberal media obsesses over their latest manufactured outrage, Trump…

Silent Hill 2 Remake on PS Plus? More Like Silent Hill 2: Pay Up or Get Spooped
Breaking, Games News

Silent Hill 2 Remake on PS Plus? More Like Silent Hill 2: Pay Up or Get Spooped

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 7, 2025October 7, 2025

Prepare yourselves, gamers, because the pinnacle of psychological horror is apparently gracing PlayStation Plus Extra just in time for all…

Leaked! Justice Dept. Okayed Whacking Narcos on a Super-Secret Hit List (Oops!)
Elephant Reads CNN

Leaked! Justice Dept. Okayed Whacking Narcos on a Super-Secret Hit List (Oops!)

Big ElephantOctober 6, 2025October 6, 2025

More winning from President Trump! The Fake News™ is clutching their pearls because our fearless leader is finally taking the…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

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