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Trump Threatens to Unleash the Kraken (aka Fire Bessent) if Fed Doesn’t Obey His Royal Interest Rate Demands
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Threatens to Unleash the Kraken (aka Fire Bessent) if Fed Doesn’t Obey His Royal Interest Rate Demands

Big ElephantNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, twisting President Trump’s words! Our glorious leader, in his infinite wisdom, is just…

Epstein Files: Prepare for Disappointment Despite Politicians Pretending to Care
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Epstein Files: Prepare for Disappointment Despite Politicians Pretending to Care

Big ElephantNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

Well, folks, the swamp creatures in Congress *finally* passed a bill to release the Epstein files. You know, the ones…

CNN Reports: Despite MAGA Tears, US Latino Population Still Partying and Growing
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Reports: Despite MAGA Tears, US Latino Population Still Partying and Growing

Big ElephantNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

CNN is at it again, folks! This time, they’re pushing the narrative that Latino identity is at a “turning point”…

Judge Boasberg Dusts Off Trump Officials’ Alien Enemy Act Deportation Flights: A Hilarious Criminal Contempt Romp
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Judge Boasberg Dusts Off Trump Officials’ Alien Enemy Act Deportation Flights: A Hilarious Criminal Contempt Romp

Big ElephantNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

Another day, another Deep State operative trying to undermine our glorious President Trump! This Obama-appointed judge, Boasberg, is on a…

Lindsey Halligan’s earth-shattering Comey hearing bombshell: Yawn
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Lindsey Halligan’s earth-shattering Comey hearing bombshell: Yawn

Big ElephantNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

Folks, you won’t BELIEVE the latest Deep State shenanigans! It turns out that the case against that swamp creature James…

“Stargate: Prime Directive – Because Apparently Wormholes Weren’t Confusing Enough Already”
Breaking, Movie News

“Stargate: Prime Directive – Because Apparently Wormholes Weren’t Confusing Enough Already”

FinnNovember 19, 2025November 19, 2025

Amazon MGM Studios, in a move that absolutely NO ONE saw coming (🙄), has announced that they’re rebooting Stargate. Yes,…

Billy Corgan Thinks Smashing Pumpkins Opera Won’t Be Total Trainwreck
Breaking, Music News

Billy Corgan Thinks Smashing Pumpkins Opera Won’t Be Total Trainwreck

Chord F. DiscordNovember 19, 2025November 19, 2025

So, BILLY CORGAN, the dude who thinks wrestling is a legitimate sport, has decided his music is high art.🤡 He’s…

Netherlands Stops Being a Crybaby, China’s Car Factories Rejoice
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Netherlands Stops Being a Crybaby, China’s Car Factories Rejoice

Big ElephantNovember 19, 2025November 19, 2025

Folks, can you believe the level of globalist games being played while our GREAT President Trump is trying to Make…

Ghost of Tsushima 2: Electric Boogaloo Coming Next Week, Get Hyped
Breaking, Games News

Ghost of Tsushima 2: Electric Boogaloo Coming Next Week, Get Hyped

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 19, 2025November 19, 2025

Oh, NO WAY! 😱 Sucker Punch, those AMAZING devs who brought you the groundbreaking, totally original IP Ghost of Yōtei…

BBC Bows Down to Royal Overlords After Embarrassing Title Slip-Up
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

BBC Bows Down to Royal Overlords After Embarrassing Title Slip-Up

Big ElephantNovember 19, 2025November 19, 2025

The BBC, that bastion of leftist propaganda, has groveled before royalty (and President Trump, MAGA!) after a series of unfortunate…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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