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YOU’RE KIDDING, CHARLIE KIRK’S DEAD?! UVU Students Brave the Aftermath of TPUSA’s Mishap
Elephant Reads CNN

YOU’RE KIDDING, CHARLIE KIRK’S DEAD?! UVU Students Brave the Aftermath of TPUSA’s Mishap

Big ElephantSeptember 17, 2025September 17, 2025

Oh, the delicate snowflakes at Utah Valley University are returning to class after the tragic demise of conservative hero Charlie…

Tomas Lindberg of AT THE GATES Kicks the Bucket at the Ancient Age of 52
Breaking, Music News

Tomas Lindberg of AT THE GATES Kicks the Bucket at the Ancient Age of 52

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 16, 2025September 16, 2025

Tomas “Tompa” Lindberg, the legendary screamer🎤 for Swedish melodic death metal pioneers AT THE GATES, has, like, totally shuffled off…

Todd Blanche: Wants to Jail You For Exercising Your First Amendment Rights, What a Guy
Elephant Reads CNN

Todd Blanche: Wants to Jail You For Exercising Your First Amendment Rights, What a Guy

Big ElephantSeptember 16, 2025September 16, 2025

Another day, another desperate attempt by the failing CNN to smear our glorious President Trump! Of course, they’re twisting the…

Israel’s Bedtime Stories: Now with Extra Boom and Ouch
Elephant Reads CNN

Israel’s Bedtime Stories: Now with Extra Boom and Ouch

Big ElephantSeptember 16, 2025September 16, 2025

Oh, no! Not the poor, innocent Gazan children! I’m sure they were all just playing with their kites and dreaming…

Trump’s Goons Find Convenient Scapegoat for Epstein Mess, Color Us Shocked
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Goons Find Convenient Scapegoat for Epstein Mess, Color Us Shocked

Big ElephantSeptember 16, 2025September 16, 2025

Another day, another Deep State distraction! The liberal media, still seething from President Trump’s landslide victory, is now hyper-focused on…

DC Crime Bills: House Plays Dress-Up as Mini-Trump, Pretends to Care About Juvenile Justice
Elephant Reads CNN

DC Crime Bills: House Plays Dress-Up as Mini-Trump, Pretends to Care About Juvenile Justice

Big ElephantSeptember 16, 2025September 16, 2025

The House just passed two bills aimed at wrestling control of the swamp, I mean, Washington D.C., back from the…

Turbo Overkill: Ultimate Edition? More Like TURBO OVERHYPED: ULTIMATE-LY DISAPPOINTING Edition Now Available For Your Annoyance On Consoles And PC!
Breaking, Games News

Turbo Overkill: Ultimate Edition? More Like TURBO OVERHYPED: ULTIMATE-LY DISAPPOINTING Edition Now Available For Your Annoyance On Consoles And PC!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 16, 2025September 16, 2025

Oh, boy! Apogee Entertainment, the geniuses behind such timeless classics as Duke Nukem (forever in development, just like our hopes…

Octopus Arm Preference: Turns Out They’re Just as Picky as Us Humans
Elephant Reads CNN

Octopus Arm Preference: Turns Out They’re Just as Picky as Us Humans

Big ElephantSeptember 16, 2025September 16, 2025

Folks, can you believe what the liberal media is pushing now? Octopus arms having preferences? It’s just another attempt to…

Twilight Imperium: Digital – Finally, A Way To Ruin Friendships Online
Breaking, Games News

Twilight Imperium: Digital – Finally, A Way To Ruin Friendships Online

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 16, 2025September 16, 2025

Oh, HONEY, look! Another indie studio, Red Square Games S.A. (never heard of ’em 🤷‍♀️), is gracing us with their…

DEICIDE Hires Some Dude From EXMORTUS, World Shrugs
Breaking, Music News

DEICIDE Hires Some Dude From EXMORTUS, World Shrugs

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 16, 2025September 16, 2025

Ah, DEICIDE, those Floridian death metal legends 👴 who’ve been churning out the same album for, like, 30 years. They’ve…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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