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Mobile Gaming for Dummies: A Guide for the Clueless Noob
Breaking, Games News

Mobile Gaming for Dummies: A Guide for the Clueless Noob

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

**So, you’ve decided to grace the mobile gaming world with your presence? 🙄 Prepare for a life-altering experience of rage-quitting,…

CNN asks the REAL questions: Is Zohran Mamdani DESTROYING the Democratic Party?
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN asks the REAL questions: Is Zohran Mamdani DESTROYING the Democratic Party?

Big ElephantAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

Oh, the horror! A socialist Democrat, Zohran Mamdani, might actually become the mayor of New York City? This is what…

Jason Returns in Friday the 13th Short Film: Oh, the Horror
Breaking, Movie News

Jason Returns in Friday the 13th Short Film: Oh, the Horror

FinnAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

Okay, so apparently Friday the 13th and that overgrown man-child, Jason Voorhees, have been battling it out in court like…

Texas Democrats Suddenly Remember They Have a State to Represent, Maybe
Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Democrats Suddenly Remember They Have a State to Represent, Maybe

Big ElephantAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

Those pesky Texas Democrats are crawling back after their little vacation! Seems like their little stunt of running away to…

“The Man In My Basement” Trailer: Prepare for Willem Dafoe’s Oscar-Worthy Performance (as a Basement Dweller)
Breaking, Movie News

“The Man In My Basement” Trailer: Prepare for Willem Dafoe’s Oscar-Worthy Performance (as a Basement Dweller)

FinnAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

Oh, honey, let’s talk about “The Man in My Basement,” because nothing screams “riveting cinema” like a dusty basement and…

DREAM THEATER Releases Graphic Novel: Prepare for Maximum Prog-Nostalgia Induced Coma
Breaking, Music News

DREAM THEATER Releases Graphic Novel: Prepare for Maximum Prog-Nostalgia Induced Coma

Chord F. DiscordAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

Oh, sweet merciful prog! 🙄 In October 2023, the planets aligned, the unicorns 🦄 danced, and Mike Portnoy, after a…

Arkansas Double Homicide Mystery: Suspect’s Court Appearance Promises Absolutely No Answers
Elephant Reads CNN

Arkansas Double Homicide Mystery: Suspect’s Court Appearance Promises Absolutely No Answers

Big ElephantAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

Another day, another tragedy, and you just KNOW the liberal media is going to twist this into some anti-Trump narrative!…

California Republicans Throw a Hissy Fit Over Newsom’s Perfectly Reasonable and Not-at-All Gerrymandered Redistricting Bonanza
Elephant Reads CNN

California Republicans Throw a Hissy Fit Over Newsom’s Perfectly Reasonable and Not-at-All Gerrymandered Redistricting Bonanza

Big ElephantAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

California is at it again, folks! The radical Left Coast, led by Governor Newsom, is whining about Texas redrawing its…

Robert Plant and Saving Grace Drop ‘Gospel Plough’ – Prepare for the Overhyped Debut Album
Breaking, Music News

Robert Plant and Saving Grace Drop ‘Gospel Plough’ – Prepare for the Overhyped Debut Album

Chord F. DiscordAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

Robert Plant, bless his heart, is still at it. He and his merry band of musical misfits, SAVING GRACE (because…

Wholesale Inflation So Hot It’s Practically on Fire (and Blaming You)
Elephant Reads CNN

Wholesale Inflation So Hot It’s Practically on Fire (and Blaming You)

Big ElephantAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

Oh, look, the “news” is trying to scare us again! Seems like even the wholesale prices are finally admitting that…

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Latest posts

  • St. Butt: The Worst Thing Ever Found in Stan’s Ass
  • Exodus Tries Really Hard to Not Get Sued by Bioware for Being a Mass Effect Clone in 20-Minute Gameplay Demo That Weve All Seen Before
  • Missing congressman still better than any Dem representing me
  • Parents Choose Abortion After Devastating News That Their Baby Would Be Among Happiest Demographic On Earth
  • The Vatican delegation at a Rotting Christ show 💀

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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