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Joan “El Gaslighting” Laporta’s Grandiose Gabfest
Elephant Reads CNN

Joan “El Gaslighting” Laporta’s Grandiose Gabfest

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2025July 31, 2025

So, Barcelona, those champions of… last season (yawn), are “touring” Asia? Oh, how touching. Probably spreading their woke ideology and…

Spoiled Brats in the Sky: How Private Jets are Ruining the Planet for Everyone Else
Elephant Reads CNN

Spoiled Brats in the Sky: How Private Jets are Ruining the Planet for Everyone Else

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2025July 31, 2025

Oh, the horror! Those limousine liberals are at it again, polluting our precious skies with their private jets while lecturing…

Dead Reset Preview: A Time-Loop FMV Horror Game That Doesn’t Flinch (Because It’s Already Seen It All, Duh)
Breaking, Games News

Dead Reset Preview: A Time-Loop FMV Horror Game That Doesn’t Flinch (Because It’s Already Seen It All, Duh)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 31, 2025July 31, 2025

FMV horror? More like FML horror, amirite?🤣 Seriously though, FMV (Full Motion Video) games have always been the dumpster fire…

Primal Fear Drops Schmaltzy Vid for ‘Tears of Fire’ Single from ‘Domination’ Album (Yeah, We’re Still Here)
Breaking, Music News

Primal Fear Drops Schmaltzy Vid for ‘Tears of Fire’ Single from ‘Domination’ Album (Yeah, We’re Still Here)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 31, 2025July 31, 2025

Oh, look, it’s PRIMAL FEAR, those geriatric power metal dudes, bless their cotton socks! They’ve dropped another “banger” called “Tears…

Cronos: Dawn Breaks, Switch 2 Shakes (and Probably Still Fakes)
Breaking, Games News

Cronos: Dawn Breaks, Switch 2 Shakes (and Probably Still Fakes)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 31, 2025July 31, 2025

Oh, sweet gamers, prepare yourselves for the most thrilling, groundbreaking, and totally-not-derivative experience of the decade! Cronos: The New Dawn,…

U.S. Envoy Witkoff, bless his heart, tries Middle East diplomacy again!
Elephant Reads CNN

U.S. Envoy Witkoff, bless his heart, tries Middle East diplomacy again!

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2025July 31, 2025

Another Deep State plot brewing in the Middle East! Witkoff, probably a Soros puppet, is off to Israel for “diplomacy.”…

Silent Hill F: The Horror Game So Realistic, Even Mother Nature Threw a Hissy Fit
Breaking, Games News

Silent Hill F: The Horror Game So Realistic, Even Mother Nature Threw a Hissy Fit

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 31, 2025July 31, 2025

So, the geniuses behind Silent Hill f, in their infinite wisdom, decided that the *real* Silent Hill (you know, the…

‘Gremlins 3’ Script: Spielberg’s Napping, We’re Waiting
Breaking, Movie News

‘Gremlins 3’ Script: Spielberg’s Napping, We’re Waiting

FinnJuly 31, 2025July 30, 2025

Oh, joy! 🎉 Another Gremlins sequel is supposedly on the horizon because, let’s be honest, Hollywood is just brimming with…

Nuremberg: Witness Rusty Crowe, Random Malek, and Mike Shannon in a Sneak Peek of the Nuremberg LOLs
Breaking

Nuremberg: Witness Rusty Crowe, Random Malek, and Mike Shannon in a Sneak Peek of the Nuremberg LOLs

FinnJuly 31, 2025July 30, 2025

This forty-second teaser trailer reveals Academy Award® winner Russell Crowe’s performance as Hermann Göring in this thought-provoking historical drama for…

History of Snooze-fest: Paul Mescal & Josh O’Connor Star in Guaranteed Nap-Inducing Trailer
Breaking, Movie News

History of Snooze-fest: Paul Mescal & Josh O’Connor Star in Guaranteed Nap-Inducing Trailer

FinnJuly 31, 2025July 30, 2025

The History of Sound, or as I like to call it, “Two Dudes With Microphones,” is brought to you by…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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