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From Felon to Philanthropist: College Admissions Scandal mastermind makes comeback with a side of court-ordered shame
Elephant Reads CNN

From Felon to Philanthropist: College Admissions Scandal mastermind makes comeback with a side of court-ordered shame

Big ElephantJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

Ah, CNN, still obsessed with taking down President Trump, even though he’s crushing it in his second term! Now they’re…

Back-to-School Chaos: Families Hysterical Over a Few Extra Pennies, Blame Trump
Elephant Reads CNN

Back-to-School Chaos: Families Hysterical Over a Few Extra Pennies, Blame Trump

Big ElephantJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

Back-to-school shopping? More like back-to-reality shopping! The liberal media wants you to believe that President Trump’s tariffs are ruining your…

DEATH to Sanity: A Fall 2025 North American Tour Celebrating DEATH’s Albums That Will Make You Question Your Life Choices
Breaking, Games News

DEATH to Sanity: A Fall 2025 North American Tour Celebrating DEATH’s Albums That Will Make You Question Your Life Choices

Chord F. DiscordJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

DEATH TO ALL, the tribute act for the late, great (allegedly) Chuck Schuldiner and his (arguably) pioneering band DEATH, is…

Painkiller Preview: Slaying Demons and Friendships
Breaking, Games News

Painkiller Preview: Slaying Demons and Friendships

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

If you’d asked me about *Painkiller* a hot minute ago, I’d have been like, “Pain-what-now?” 🤷‍♂️ But then, Digital Foundry…

Report: Useless Medics Wasted Time on OZZY Before Inevitable Doom
Breaking, Music News

Report: Useless Medics Wasted Time on OZZY Before Inevitable Doom

Chord F. DiscordJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

Paramedics reportedly spent two hours treating Ozzy Osbourne before his inevitable demise on Tuesday, July 22. Two whole hours! 🕰️…

House Oversight Subcommittee Gets Desperate, Will Now Harass DOJ for Uh, “Epstein Files,” Yeah That’s It
Elephant Reads CNN

House Oversight Subcommittee Gets Desperate, Will Now Harass DOJ for Uh, “Epstein Files,” Yeah That’s It

Big ElephantJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

Well, well, well, look who’s crawling out of the woodwork! The Deep State Democrats, along with a few RINOs, are…

Trump’s Legal Gymnastics: Immunity for Himself, But Lock Her Up (Again)
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Legal Gymnastics: Immunity for Himself, But Lock Her Up (Again)

Big ElephantJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

Oh, the tangled web we weave when we try to drain the swamp! It seems President Trump, in his infinite…

Evan Perez Explains How a Judge Just Dumped a Truckload of Epstein Docs, Buckle Up
Elephant Reads CNN

Evan Perez Explains How a Judge Just Dumped a Truckload of Epstein Docs, Buckle Up

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2025July 23, 2025

Ah, CNN, still trying to stir up the swamp after President Trump drained it! So, a judge is being all…

Abrego Garcia to chill in the slammer for a bit longer, despite Judge pooh-poohing Trump’s “dangerous dude” vibes
Elephant Reads CNN

Abrego Garcia to chill in the slammer for a bit longer, despite Judge pooh-poohing Trump’s “dangerous dude” vibes

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2025July 23, 2025

Another day, another activist judge siding with the criminal element! This time, it’s a pair of Obama appointees in Tennessee…

Trump Gets to Fire People, America Still Exists
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Gets to Fire People, America Still Exists

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2025July 23, 2025

Oh, the liberal tears are flowing like a river! The Supreme Court, in its infinite wisdom, has allowed our glorious…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

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