Metallica Sells Out, Now Wants Your Blood (Literally)
So, like, METALLICA is STILL trying to be relevant by partnering with the American Red Cross. Because apparently, headbanging isn’t…
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Elden Ring Nightreign’s Duo Expeditions: Now Delayed Because Mother Nature Decided to Rage Quit
OMG! 😱 FromSoftware DELAYS Elden Ring Nightreign Duo Expeditions Because the Ocean Decided to Throw a Tantrum! 🌊 Like, Seriously?…
Pokémon TCG Pocket’s Art Debacle: Legendary Cards Get Thanos Snapped for Ripping Off Real Artists
So, Pokémon TCG Pocket, the groundbreaking digital card game that’s totally not just a cynical cash grab, apparently had a…
Social Security to Seniors: “U Up?” (But Only If You Can Pass Our Vibe Check First)
Oh, the Social Security Administration is at it again, folks! Looks like they’re finally cracking down on all those fraudsters…
GOP Senators Confirm Totally Not Controversial Trump Lawyer to Lifetime Gig, Libs Still Crying
Another Deep State Operative Foiled! Despite the Left’s best efforts, President Trump’s nominee, Emil Bove, has been confirmed as a…
‘Happy Gilmore 2’ Bombs So Hard It Breaks Netflix’s Servers
Oh, sweet golfing gods, bow down to the cinematic masterpiece that is Happy Gilmore 2! 🏌️♂️ After a grueling 30-year…
An Ocean Ov Wonderful, Delightful, Pleasant, Heavenly Paradise
So, the prevailing wisdom is that TRUE heaviness only exists if your guitar strings are so loose they could double…
Oops! Orange Man Says “No More Bargain Bin” for Indian Goodies, Might Slap ‘Em with a 25% “Because I Can” Tax
Another day, another opportunity for President Trump to MAGA! He’s not afraid to call out these countries like India, who…
Inside 345 Park Avenue: A Totally Normal Day Until, You Know, *That* Happened
Folks, can you believe what happened in New York City? Another day, another mass shooting, and where does it happen?…
GOP Brainstorm: How to Rig Senate Rules to Fast-Track Trump’s Cronies
The liberal media is at it again, folks! CNN is reporting that Senate Republicans are considering options to speed up…